tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post674538221319025641..comments2023-09-11T11:11:07.161-05:00Comments on STILL HOPEFUL: Inconsiderate JerksMonica Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14767867041043811045noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post-86661658397626709612008-07-16T13:39:00.000-05:002008-07-16T13:39:00.000-05:00"isn't that a little much?"hmmm...a little too mu..."isn't that a little much?"<BR/>hmmm...a little too much is losing your first and second born child.<BR/>thank you very much.<BR/>my father does not know of ANY of my losses - that's how tight WE are.<BR/>good for you! kick ass! i have felt like Emi taught me to be selfish and care for myself first and that Daniella taught me to 'not sweat the small stuff' and that life can ROYALLY suck. i'm just a regular ray of sunshine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post-15929075501861479012007-10-29T20:07:00.000-05:002007-10-29T20:07:00.000-05:00Monica,I'm so sorry how this family member treated...Monica,<BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry how this family member treated you. If you read back in some of my posts, I have posted a few times about how hard it has been to talk to some of my relatives. And how awful they have been.<BR/><BR/>And you are right, you blog is here for you to write whatever you want. It's for you. I know I feel like that about mine. It may not be pretty, but it's mine.<BR/><BR/>Family members are always putting their 2 cents in about *how* we should be dealing with all of this. But they're not here, living it moment by moment, like we are.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad that you found my blog and hope so much that we can be a comfort and support to each other. That's what is so great about this blogging community. You can find the support you need--even if that support is missing from your real life.meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00113578396438869433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post-40819030370937818452007-09-28T11:20:00.000-05:002007-09-28T11:20:00.000-05:00I too feel like some of my relationships have chan...I too feel like some of my relationships have changed after losing Sara - it's not worth my time to invest my energy in "friends" who can't/don't return that energy. Talking with women in our other group, most feel the same way.<BR/>On the flipside, we do find out who our friends are & hopefully find new ones. : )Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16561217483266425653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post-67183025705545307082007-09-27T23:03:00.000-05:002007-09-27T23:03:00.000-05:00Monica, I'm so sorry that your family treats you t...Monica, <BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry that your family treats you this way. Unfortunately, I have discovered the same things about family after loosing Dylan and Riley. First, my grandmother (who I didn't have a great relationship with to begin with) asked to see Dylan's picture. When I showed her, she said "Oh Beck, he's not very cute, is he?" I was devestated! Then at his funeral, she made comments to DH's Grandmother that we were making such a big deal out of this. Only what she didn't know was that DH's grandmother suffered a stillbirth nearly 50 years ago and still hasn't 'gotten over it.' And before we left for his funeral, she made comments about my weight and that I'm to emotional. As she put it, "Just like your mother." Needless to say, we didn't invite her to Riley's memorial service. I didn't want to deal with the added grief, and now almost 18 months later I don't go out of my way.<BR/><BR/>The thing is, I was just like you. Always sending cards, remembering birthdays...it was always me making the phone calls. I got tired of it. My best friend didn't even call after we lost Dylan. I didn't talk to her for almost a year until out of the blue she emailed me and told me she was pregnant. She knew we lost Riley too. But she was about 24w along when she told me. I was devestated and I literally had an anxiety attack. How could she not be there for me when I needed her the most in my life, but she expects me to be there for her? After that she sent monthly updates like I cared...I blocked her emails because she's due any day and to be God honest I hope that her baby dies. I have never felt such bitterness and hatred for a person that I once cared about until she deserted me like she did. I swear that I won't feel like being friends with her again until she burries her baby. And we all know that's unlikely to happen...apparently the only people that happens to are the good people in life.<BR/><BR/>But on the other hand, I have a friend who hasn't let a day go by that she hasn't called since we left the hospital after Dylan was born. Even if I don't answer, she leaves a voicemail. Just to check in on me. And even when I avoided her, didn't want to talk, and refused her to come and visit...she did it anyway. And for that, I will never forget.<BR/><BR/>I wish that I could offer more advice. I realize that I might not have helped much...but know that you aren't alone. I think we all feel the same way. The whole situation sucks. And I wish that you didn't have to go through it too.<BR/><BR/>I've dealt with it by writing those people out of my life. I don't know if it's healthy or not, but I have. I no longer give 110%. I just can't do it anymore. I think there comes a point in your life that you have to think about your own family first. Allow yourself to say NO. When you get there, it's a great feeling!Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04161170990042501514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2982174673054423605.post-1353327733056442822007-09-27T21:28:00.000-05:002007-09-27T21:28:00.000-05:00"A little much"??? Wow! She REALLY doesn't get it..."A little much"??? Wow! She REALLY doesn't get it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I think it might be best to just distance yourself from her for a while to keep her from hurting you further. <BR/><BR/>About you.. what can I say that I haven't already said. You are such a kind and compassionate person. I can easily see others (how can I put this without making you sound like a schmuck..) abusing it. I also think you are just one of those rare persons who lives to make others happy.. I should say making others happy makes you happy. But the sad part is is that they need to be there for you. You know that one dorky country and western song out now? The one that is called, "You find out who your friends are". I think that it is times like this where your really learn that. The patriot Thomas Paine wrote it more elonquently, "These are the times that try men's souls, the summer soldier and sunshine patriot will in the time of Crisis shrink from service" meaning when the shit gets hard, some people run. Others don't. As hard as it may be for you, you gotta cut those "sunshine patriots" out. I wouldn't change who you are, but just ask yourself, "is this person really committed to me?" BTW, the charge for all this great advice is free. The next session I will charge. <BR/><BR/>HAHAHA! <BR/><BR/>BTW, I am going to wait a few weeks to update your new blog on my blogroll, but I did at it to my bloglines so I will see when you have posted.<BR/><BR/>K? Bye!Mrs. Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13572508460850412007noreply@blogger.com