A couple days ago Sophie from A Loner, Dottie, A Rebel sent me this card that she made for Sam's birthday using images of his birthday flowers and footprints. I just thought it was too sweet not to share with you.
Thank you Sophie for thinking of my Sam!
I intended to share Sam's birthday photos with you sooner, but a couple days after his birthday on August 15th, our bunny died and that set me back a bit. I then got really sick for about 2 1/2 weeks but I'm finally feeling better. Here are a few photos from Sam's day.
Kristi
sent me these pretty cupcake liners for my birthday (thanks Kristi!) so I utilized them for Sam's cupcakes. I thought they were fresh and fun and Summery, perfect for the hummingbird cupcakes that went in them. I chose hummingbird cake because it's a sweet fruity (pineapple and banana) cake and I thought it was something a 4 year old might like. I'm not totally sure if he would have liked them or not, but I know he would have eaten all that frosting on top of that cupcake! If you'd like the recipe, you can go here.
We sang Happy Birthday to Sam at the cemetery, but after I made these, I stuck a candle in it and sang to him all by myself in the kitchen.
Earlier in the day, I picked up fresh flowers for Mr. H's grandparents as well as for Sam and Jack. We visited each one individually and took them bouquets of flowers. The flowers above were chosen just for the boys. When I went to the grocery store to pick them out, the lady was super helpful. I told her I was needing bouquets to take to the cemetery, and she let me look in their walk-in cooler for the flowers they had just received so I could get the freshest pick. We chatted back and forth for a bit then she asked me who I was honoring and I told her I was taking them out to my sons. She smiled and got quiet and never said anything else after that. I browsed for several more minutes, then smiled and thanked her for her help.
Mr. H's parents joined us at the cemetery for a balloon release. Not one other family member called us on that day (or any other day). I was disappointed and felt like he was forgotten. But I thank my in-laws for asking about his day and wanting to be involved in our plans. I also have some really wonderful friends that either called, emailed or visited them at the cemetery- I love you guys!
After we wrote messages on our 4 balloons, we released them into the sky where they took off! It was interesting to see them soar into the vast blue sky, but remain together. We said our goodbye's, shed a couple tears that blended in with the sweat running down our faces, then we went to dinner at one of my favorite cafes. Afterwards we went home and had those yummy cupcakes.
All in all, it was a beautiful day.
Happy 4th Birthday Sam. We love you!
It's been a week to the hour since our sweet bunny, August died. It seems like forever ago yet it's still so fresh in my mind.
I've mentioned before that he had respiratory issues. Over the last three years we've made several emergency vet visits late at night. We've shed tears because we worried about him and we feared we'd lose him. But he kept on truckin'. He always did. He'd have an "episode", where he's produce extraneous amounts of mucus, he'd gasp for air, he'd clear it, then he'd be fine and act as normal as could be. It was baffling.
A few weeks ago he started hacking, we checked on him and instead of clear mucus it was dark green, like spinach. He rushed him to the vet at 2 am, and the vet said it looked like stomach contents and diagnosed him with having reflux disease. Alright then. As always, once he did his thing, he was fine. Last week started off the same. I held him in my lap, stroked his soft fur, whispered in his ears and gave him kisses on his head. His heart rate was elevated but he seemed okay.
Then all of a sudden mucus started coming from his nose, he was gasping for air, then he started kicking, he began to thrash and tried to escape me. We tried to calm him down and hold him still because we didn't want him to hurt himself. He kicked off of me, scratched my neck, so I gave him to Mr. H. He tried to contain him and he did the same thing. I took him back and as he kicked, he fell onto the floor, which was only a foot and a half off the ground.
I worriedly picked him up, only to find that he was no longer kicking but eerily still. He was still breathing at a rapid rate, but his body seemed lifeless. I began to panic and cry. I just knew he was dying. Mr. H called the ER vet and they told us to bring him in. We scurried around the house, with him swaddled in our arms, trying to get our shoes on. I was freaking out and beside myself. Mr. H was holding him as he took his last breaths. He was gone.
It just happened so fast. It was/is so surreal. We knew one day he'd pass, but we never thought it would happen this early. He was only 3 years old. Of course this all brings me back to loss and the boys. And how I'm convinced that we're not meant to have boys and how they all seem to die on us. I feel like I've let him down. I know that his death was not my fault and I don't blame myself but I feel like I should have been able to do something for him.
We got August after the boys died because bunnies just reminded us of them. He brought us so much joy and laughter. He was such a spas but he was a sweetheart. He definitely had a personality and we will miss his quirkiness and his super soft, fine hair that stuck to everything. He helped fill a void in our lives and put smiles back on our faces. He was more than a pet and we miss him so much.
.JPG)
August
.JPG)
.jpg)
