Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Summer Boy

At midnight we lit a candle for Sam. As I looked at the flickering flame I wondered if I should refer to Sam as a baby or a toddler. He'll forever be my baby but in my mind he's a rambunctious little boy.

I spent the better part of Friday baking and decorating this cake for Sam's birthday. I wanted to make him proud and I hope this cake does him justice. It's a 3 layer white and dark chocolate checkerboard cake frosted in a white chocolate buttercream and coated in a semisweet chocolate ganache.

I made butterflies and a dragonfly out of chocolate and candy melts using a method I found in this book.

Mr. H picked out these flowers to take out to Sam at the cemetery. I don't think they could have been more perfect. Sunflowers are the epitome of Summer. And since Sam was born on one of the hottest days of the year in 2006, I can't think of a more appropriate bouquet.

Here's the birthday boy with his flowers. They're not in this picture, but Monica took out a lovely bouquet and cards for both boys. Thank you sweetie.

My in-laws and little brother went with Mr. H and I to the cemetery. We sang happy birthday to him in 5 part harmony. Ha ha ha! If you could have only heard us. My in-laws (MIL) can't hold a tune in a bucket. It's so funny and we all end up laughing at some point during the birthday song no matter whose birthday it is. Bless her heart, she tries :-)

The sun was setting as we left the cemetery before heading to dinner. After dinner we devoured some cake and sang to him again.

We love you sweet boy. Happy 3rd birthday my toddler baby.


Mirne said...

Beautiful. How beautiful to remember your son in so many special ways. A stunning cake (WOW), lovely photos and a family song. Thinking of you.

Virginia said...

Beautiful cake, beautiful flowers....thinking of you, and Sam, and sending hugs.

Becky said...

Beautiful cake! As soon as I saw the dragonfly's I thought, "Perfect."

It looks like you had a lovely day. Sam must be so proud of his Mama.

Rachel said...

I beautiful cake and a sweet celebration.

The Nanny said...

The cake is beyond gorgeous, and the rest of your day sounds like a lovely tribute to Sam. Thinking of you all!

Kristi said...

I love the cake - beautiful! I want to make the butterflies for Sara's cupcakes - if I can find orange candy melts!

It sounds like a peaceful day.

Sophie A. said...

That cake is gorgeous, I know he is proud of it. Sunflowers sound perfect too, happy and sunny, just like the summer sun. Great birthday for your little one :).

froggy mommy said...

Sam's cake is beautiful!

mrsmuelly said...

Happy 3rd birthday sweet Sam! Enjoy some cake and chase some balloons today...

The cake is amazing (as usual). I love that you and family sung a 5 part harmony too. Just perfect.

Holly said...

The cake looks so good! You did a wonderful job in remembering Sam!

Thank you for adding Carleigh's name!

Beth said...

What a beautiful cake and an even more beautiful and memorable way to remember sweet Sam.

Thinking and praying for you always.

bir said...

Wow! I've been thinking to make a special cake for Ciaran's upcoming birthday, but now I want to be as clever as you! That cake is soooo beautiful Monica!

I know I'm late - life has been hectic and not necessarily the fun kind, although not all bad either!
Happy birthday, Sam... wishing he were here so you could have sang to him, your toddler boy xxxx

jaded said...

I was moved to tears. What a thought? How do we refer to our children. Well spiritualists say that they are the same age in spirit as the would be here on earth...that is until they reincarnate. (If you can beleive or tolerate all that 'jazz').

I like the thought of a toddler. Honestly when I think of Sam I see him in that way.
I still can't get over the support of your in-laws, I think that they are great.
I did not do anything for Sam in terms of spelling out his name but the thought of him has broght me to tears - I hope you will accept that my dear friend.

I am thinking of Sam and of course Jack more than these empty words can express.

Quite frankly, I am having a difficult day today accepting the losses of precious wanted babies, but I will get through it - as I always do. As you do.

I think about what would Sam want for his birthday - and that is to see his mom becoming whole slowly and steadily.

I wanted to tell you that you look absolutely beautiful and radiant in these photos. While I am at it - I will admit (although I thought about telling you) that I recently dreamt that I checked your blog and you were pregnant.

Prophetic dreams run in my family -i'll leaved it at that.

Thinking of you and boys always, always, always.


Elle Bee said...

I've just read all about your two precious boys. My heart breaks for you. I do know what it's like to want a baby and not be able to have one (infertility), but I don't know what it's like to lose one, and I can't imagine the pain you have suffered. I am so sorry for your losses. You are absolutely beautiful and such a wonderful, dear mother to those boys who are just loving you like crazy from heaven.
Hugs to you, lovely lady. You are amazing and I pray that God sends you a baby to stay.