We started off Jack's 3rd Birthday with brunch at our house. Mr. H's parents came over to share the day with us. We had Blueberry Ricotta Pancakes and a few other breakfast essentials.
Then we went to the cemetery to see the boys and their grandparents. We cleaned off their headstones and sang happy birthday to Jack. We took them fresh flowers and a special birthday boy card from his mom and dad.
We came home to Tigger and Pooh who were waiting for us and ready to have cupcakes.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
For the last few days I felt as if I wasn't thinking enough of Jack. Today is his birthday and all I've been thinking about is Mr. H and his upcoming birthday in a couple days. It's not that I've forgotten about him it's just overwhelming and exhausting sometimes. If you've experienced a loss then you know what I mean.
I can't ever possibly go back to those first raw moments and relive our time together. It's physically and emotionally impossible. And while I think of them every single day, several times a day, my thoughts of them are different. I guess in some weird and completely invalid way I feel like because I don't grieve for them like I did that I don't love them enough. I do and I could never love them less but each birthday is a new experience for me. And while this is his 3rd, this is the 6th birthday between the two boys. They come every 6 months whether I'm ready for them or not.
I just don't want Jack's birthday or Sam's to ever be an after thought. I want them to know (and I know they do) that I love them with all my heart and I miss them just as much as I did when I first realized that they were not going to make it. But really I think it's more than that. I feel like I need to prove to others my love for them. I know this is crazy but it's all part of the game, right? It's all part of being the best mother you can be.
I live each day for them. And for myself. I can never move on and get over it, but I can move forward. I will try.
"I never did forget your birthday and I never will." ~Mother Bear (from Little Bear by Else Holmelund Minarik)Happy 3rd Birthday Jack!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Brandon- Thank you for your strength, bravery and your courage. We appreciate all you sacrifice in fighting for our freedom. Please be safe and return home to your momma.
Janet- I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace. Hugs my friend.
Many prayers are headed your way. And readers if you can spare any good thoughts, Brandon and his family sure could use them.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
There were a lot more people put and about then I thought there would be considering all the snow. But it was a beautiful day and the sun was shining so we went sightseeing. This is the front of the Lincoln Memorial and usually you're allowed to head up the steps to see Abe up close but the steps were still icy so we had to watch from a distance.
This guy cracked me up! His friend was taking his picture and he got on the lid of this trash can to slide down and he made it about 2 feet before he got stuck. Very uneventful for him but very funny for me :-)
As I turned around, this was the view awaiting me. Beautiful! I was not brave enough to go play on the frozen reflecting pool, but they seemed to be having fun.
Well Sunday is Valentine's Day. We quit celebrating it after the first year of dating because I refused to make reservations for dinner and Mr. H didn't care enough to. We tried going out to several places for dinner and couldn't get in anywhere. I was pissed and I stayed that way for days. I think back on that now and I see how immature and petty I was. I was also only 17 years old too so I'm not too hard on myself. These days we just enjoy being together and exchanging cards, sometimes they're homemade other times they're store bought. It's not important, it's our love that is. So this weekend we'll probably stay in, have a nice dinner followed by something chocolate!
Enjoy the pictures and have a wonderfully romantic weekend. Do you have any plans?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Have you seen Planes, Trains and Automobiles with Steve Martin and John Candy? Well the basis of the story is two men are trying to get home to their families for the holidays. They try every form of transportation possible, over the span of several days, including but not limited to planes, trains and burnt automobiles. It's hilarious and if you haven't seen it, it's a must.
What I'm trying to say is that we're trying to get home too. It snowed again today and they're expecting another 20 inches of snow in the DC area. All flights have been cancelled and keep getting moved back. We're scheduled to leave Thursday evening but that might change. Keep your fingers crossed that we get home to see our furry friends- we miss them! And also for the people who are using these forms of transportation to get home as well.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
We are in DC and we are staying warm and dry, despite the history making weather!
I'm too lazy to write all the details and I have very limited internet access but if you'd like to read more, head on over to my other blog to see some snow pics and see how we are.
Have a great weekend everyone.