Sunday, November 30, 2008

Long and Lazy

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Hope you all have full bellies, plenty of leftovers and are still sane if you went shopping this weekend. Did you hear about the guy who got trampled to death by shoppers? Ridiculous. Is the new talking Elmo really that important? Seriously.

We had dinner at out house on Wednesday night for my in-laws. My MIL hasn't been feeling too well, so she appreciated the peace and quiet and the ability to stretch out on the couch after dinner, while eating chocolate chip pecan pie. I was in the kitchen from 12-9pm. I made the best turkey breast I have ever eaten, mashed sweet potatoes, broccoli rice casserole, creamed spinach (which I forgot about in the microwave!) egg gravy, dinner rolls and 2 chocolate chip pecan pies (recipe to come) and artichoke spinach dip. I was exhausted but it was well worth it. What did you make or eat?

On Thursday we went to my aunts house for a late lunch. it was nice to not have to do all the cooking and cleaning. Although I do have to thank Mr. H for cleaning and doing laundry while I was cooking. He also put up all the lights on the house yesterday and today. They look wonderful, so thank you honey!

Today, a friend and I went to the ceramic shop to make and paint ornaments and "sugar cookies". They're going to be so cute. I'll leave you with a little sneak peak. We had to roll the clay, cut out the shapes then paint them. We even made little plates and mini mugs of cocoa. Well, I made them, but it was her idea :-) Hopefully we'll get them back soon so I can show you.

How was your long weekend?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Thankful Heart

There will always be hard times. Your days won't always be cheerful. The weather won't always be perfect. You may not always have money in your bank account. You may be fighting with your in-laws, or unhappy at work. Missing your babies or hoping for one...but you always have something to hold onto. Something to be grateful for. Sometimes you have to search for it, other times it's obvious.

I do a lot of complaining and whining on this blog, I (we) are in debt up to our eyeballs, work sucks, we still don't have a car, I miss my boys with all of my heart... but I am still grateful for the experiences I have had and look forward to our future.

Today I am grateful for:

Sam and Jack
my husband
my family
a job, though it sucks sometimes
a car to drive around, though it isn't mine
my home
my faith
my hope
my friends- online and in real life
my life

I am thankful for today and hopeful for tomorrow. What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Monday, November 24, 2008


I'm still thinking about that damn stork in the front yard. I just don't get it. And I'm sure it'll still be there tomorrow when I get there.

The thing is, I knew she was going to put one up--I just forgot about it. When A. had her b.aby shower, she had some baby socks that were folded into looking like mini muffins. On top of the "muffins" were rosebuds and they were packaged in little cupcake boxes. They really were cute, but they were just socks. She had several gifts like this, and they were all from the same lady.

She pulled them out of a blue gift bag and showed them to me then proceeded to hand me a business card for the woman who made these. A grand smile appeared on her face when she started to talk about "these signs you can put out in the yard" that have the baby's info on it. I knew what she was talking about and just smiled and didn't say anything.

Then I started to think... I remember either reading an article or seeing something on the news about couples who put these signs in their yards and then had their babies abducted. It lets predators know there is a new baby in the home and then they can kidnap it. This concerns me. I would never do this just because it's happened to someone else. Why would someone put their babies' lives at risk just to show off?

So I told her about the risk and made my opinion clear. And she said, without a worry "Why would someone do that?" As in "why would someone kidnap a baby?" Ugh, why do babies die? Because they do! Neither are ideal, but they happen. It's life.

Why does she think she's exempt from pain? From life?

ETA: The stork was taken down today ::doing a happy dance!::

Friday, November 21, 2008

Let Them Eat Cake!

Here is the cake I made for LD's birthday. As I've mentioned his parents are from V.enezuela and they like the ocean, the beach, sea life in general.

That being said, LD likes "fishies" too. His bedroom walls are painted blue and he has schools of fish decals swimming across the water. And now that he has a big boy bed, he has F.inding N.emo bedding. It's a running theme throughout the house.

N.emo was also the theme of his party. They gave me free reign over the decorations and taste s long as it wasn't majorly chocolatey.

I made a vanilla buttermilk cake with chocolate mascarpone filling and a cream cheese frosting, tinted a nice shade of sea glass. I made it into 3 tiers with 2 layers each tier. It was a relatively small cake- 9-inch, 6-inch and 4 inch tiers, frosted then decorated with candy melts and candy writers.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm Still Here

Thanks for all the comments regarding the Vlasic pickle bird! They made me laugh, which is really what I needed. :-) So again, thank you.

I meant to update yesterday, but I was so busy. I made an apple pie for Mr. H, went to physical therapy for the upteenth time then came home and made and assembled a tiered birthday cake for LD. His birthday was today and I was up til 3 last night finishing it. Then I had trouble falling asleep.

So here I am. I'd like to say I am well rested, but I am not. LD's birthday party was today. A. asked me to make his birthday cake. I agreed, but she never spoke to me about the details of his party. I honestly didn't even think I was invited. I just thought that the party was this evening, and I was to bring the cake. I was wrong.

His party started at 3 this afternoon and 4 kids and their parents came over, plus 3 other friends of the family. There were about 20 people there. We ate goldfish and animal crackers, hit the pinata, ran after wee ones, cleaned up several spilt drinks, then got to eat the cake I made and opened presents. We were there til after 6. I say "we" because Mr. H showed up for the last hour to offer moral support. I love him. 95% of the time the new baby (His name is M.arco, but I'll call him Polo) was sleeping, so he wasn't really an issue today. But right before we left, A. came over holding Polo and showed him off to Mr. H. "Look Mr. H, have you seen the new baby?" Then we left. Good timing, huh? Walking down the driveway in the dark,I was tempted to break the storks legs. Wouldn't that be funny?

Rewind to Monday: I got upset after seeing that damn bird. I took a few deep breaths and walked through the front door. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I wanted to turn back around and go home. I was hoping Polo was asleep, because I didn't want to see or hear him coo or cry. I walked straight through their house to their living room, where LD and I play and set my stuff down. I passed their master bedroom where the door was wide open and A. was sitting in the rocker nursing. I didn't make eye contact. Instead I kept going. LD was asleep and the living room was straightened out, so I didn't have anything to do. A. called me into the room to see her new baby. I kept my distance and looked at him. He was tiny and wrinkly. Perfect.

As she sat in her yellow padded rocking chair burping her baby she started to tell me about him. Her lips were moving, but I didn't hear anything. When she was done, I smiled and left the room. I went to the living room and wiped all his toys and books down with Clorox wipes--trying to keep busy. The family went into the dining room adjacent to the living room to eat their lunch. Ma, Pa, GMa, Boy and Baby. One big happy family. I was in the other room chanting to myself "please don't cry, please don't cry..." I was afraid the baby would cry and I would lose it. Instead it had an opposite effect and my eyes started to tear up. I wiped them and moved on.

Shortly after lunch, A. had to take Polo to the Pediatrician, so LD and I went to the park. We stayed there most of the afternoon. On the way there, I called Mr. H and he met us there. I needed a distraction and someone adult to speak to. We had a nice quiet, peaceful time. We took our time walking back to their house and I gave him his afternoon snack, then went home. My day wasn't as rough as I though it was going to be, but it was sad. Today wasn't bad either, we'll see how tomorrow is.

Rachel, thanks for checking up and worrying about me. You're a sweetheart.

I'll leave you with a picture of LD at the park. Happy Birthday Buddy!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Greeted by the effin' stork!

I have no words today...maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Wanna get stoned?

Because I rock ;-) (as Missing One so kindly and accurately pointed out!) you're all getting a stone!!! I went and bought a few more so you can all have one because I didn't want to leave anyone out. In fact one of you is getting a stone even though you didn't ask for one- just because I love you!

I have addresses for Nanny, Kristi and Erica but I need addresses for Missing One, Amy B, Amanda, Shauna and the Anonymous grad student.

Please email me your address and I'll ship them out this week. Because so many of you wanted Hope and Cherish and I only had one of each you may get something different. I'll do my best to give you what you wanted or I'll substitute it with a stone that I think is appropriate. You'll just have to wait and see what you get :-)

Look for them in the mail soon!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Great News and "Eh" News

LD is officially a big brother now.

He was born sometime around 6 am this morning. His name starts with a 'M' and is usually followed by 'Polo'. He was 8lbs.9oz. and has a big nose. That's all I know.

That's more than I care to know, really.

I was alone most of the day today with LD while his parents were at the hospital. His Dad came home to take a nap. When he woke up all he could say was how tired he was and how the "hard part" was yet to come.

All I wanted to say was "The 'hard part' comes when you have to bury your child. Not when you bring him home. Asshole!"

Instead I smiled, nodded, wished him a good weekend and left for the day. I wasn't as upset as I expected to be, but the thought of a new baby boy did/does make my heart ache. I will inevitably have to see him on Monday when I go back to work.

I was in a bum mood this evening so we went out for dinner. And wouldn't you know we were seated next to 3 chatter box women who were planning a baby shower! One of the ladies' suggestions for favors was to offer a candle with a ribbon wrapped around it and a card attached that said "light this on the day of this child's birth". The ladies all oohed and ahhed about what a great idea it was. Sound familiar? Whatever. We couldn't get out of there fast enough so Mr. H and I mocked them the entire dinner. It was fun :-)

Wanna know some good news?

My grandma had a mammogram on Monday and the results are in: She's still cancer free! Now that's something I can celebrate this weekend.

Remember if you want an inspirational stone, leave me a comment and tell me which one you want! You have til Saturday at midnight to enter.

ETA: I just checked my email and A (LD's mom) sent me over a message titled 'Baby Pictures'. I couldn't look at them or delete them. I just froze.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thank You and A Give-Away!

Over the last few months, I have received a few gifts from fellow bloggers. Let me just say, I am feeling the love.

I received a handmade necklace from Andria, beautiful drawings from Christyna, homemade chocolate chip cookies from Rachel, and a cookbook from Jenn! I love you guys, and it's not just because you send me things :-) You guys really are amazing and I am touched by your stories, encouraged by your words and forever changed by "knowing" you all. I consider you all my friends.

So, I have a give-away for you...

I have a heart locket that holds sonogram pictures of Sam and Jack. I carry it with me at all times. When I sleep, I clutch it in my hand. When I'm not at home, I keep it in my right pocket of my jeans. If I'm not wearing jeans, I keep it tucked inside my bra, near my heart. It brings me comfort and in a way I feel like my boys are near.

I don't have a heart locket for you, but I have 6 polished stones with inspirational words on them. I hope they will bring a little comfort to you too.

You have until Saturday at 11:59 pm to enter. If you want one just leave me a comment and tell me which 2 stones are your favorites and why. I will do my best to accommodate the winners with the stone of their choice. One entry per person, please.

The colors may be a little difficult to make out, but I have two stones that say 'Imagine'. One is black/gray speckled and the other is a cloudy white. I have two stones that say 'Honor' in marbled blue/white and another is a faintly pink hue. The 'Cherish' stone is marbled terra cotta/green and the 'Hope' stone is cloudy with a clear edge and is very slightly lavender tinted.

The stones range in size from about 1 x 1 1/4 inches (Hope) to the largest (Cherish) at about 1 1/4 x 1 1/2 inches.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Re: An Anonymous Comment

Dear Anonymous,

I have never visited that sight before, but I just did and it did not bring me encouragement. Maybe when I hold my living children in my arms and I have time to reflect upon it, it will. Hopefully it will help others, but not me, not now. Thanks for trying though.

I am a believer in God- in Jesus to be more exact, but I don't think he makes decisions for us. I think he leads us to make our own decisions- right or wrong. He equips us with the knowledge to know the difference.

This post is not about my faith. It is about me thinking my aunt is ignorant. And by ignorant I do not mean stupid or wrong- I mean misinformed; without knowledge.

She is one to pray to God and rely on him for all things. That's great for her, but if she is such a believer and a do-gooder then why does she send me such awful hate emails about other people? *That* is NOT a Christian thing to do.

And I have a hard time believing that God told her to send me that email. I have a hard time believing that God says it's okay for her to act that way, though she says she's just being "an advocate". Advocates of God, whether trying to sway your vote on a political candidate or trying to talk you into going to Church should not be malicious. They should not belittle others in the process of making a point either.

If she doesn't like the current president-elect, that's fine. That's her opinion. She doesn't have to agree with his views, (and neither do you). She can stand proud knowing she didn't vote for him (just as I did when "W" was elected), but don't call the man a terrorist because he had roommates in college from Pakistan. That, my friend is low and unGodly.


Saturday, November 8, 2008

Panic Inducing

A. (LD's mom) is due Monday! (That's 2 days from now)!!!

How the hell did time pass me by? I'm freakin' the f*ck out!

She has me on call this weekend in case she goes into labor. Her mom wants to be with her in the delivery room so they asked me if I'd watch LD while they were at the hospital delivering their healthy precious baby boy.

I'm sure they will shed tears after their baby is born just like I did. Only theirs will be tears of joy, while mine were of sorrow for my sons that would never come home.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Who Did God Tell You To Vote For?

A few weeks ago my aunt sent me some junk mail. She rarely ever actually sends me a personal email, but forwards me political or religious stuff.

This particular email was about 0bama. It was not a nice email. I read the entire thing and then responded. I started to vent and tell her all I had to say, then I deleted it all. I simply replied, "Please do not send me any political email. Especially those bad mouthing 0bama."

She responded almost immediately saying she was simply being "an advocate". I rolled my eyes and asked her why she never sent me any anti-Mc.Cain mail. She says she never got any, but would be sure to send some my way whenever she got any. Gee thanks.

So I decided to send her an anti- Mc.Cain- one that I had created myself. She didn't seem too thrilled to receive it and I highly doubt she forwarded it to her friends- being the advocate that she is. She emailed back and said, she was entitled to vote for whomever she wanted. The thing is, I wasn't trying to talk her out of her decision. I could care less who she votes for. Everyone has a right to vote for whomever they think is the best candidate- even if I don't agree with them. That's the beauty of this country.

Then- GET THIS- she said she was going to talk to God and He would tell her who to vote for! He would tell her who He needed to run this country.

Um, okay. I'm all for talking to God, but I'm not so sure he's going to tell me who to vote for. He didn't save my boys, when I begged and pleaded. He didn't intervene when their hearts took their last beat. He could've blessed our lives with two beautiful boys and he didn't...Okay, I'm stopping now, because I could go on and on and on. My point is, why would he respond to her, when he flat out ignored me- especially about who to vote for?

I just laughed when 0bama won last night. I was really proud, and happy, but a part of me just snickered when I thought of our previous email conversation. My grandmother was so excited when he won too. I spoke to her today and she said she was cheerleading through the house and beaming with pride regarding our new President-elect.

My aunt (not smiling, and rather grumpy) said, "I didn't vote for him."

Monday, November 3, 2008

Go Vote (even if it's for the wrong candidate)!

Tomorrow is election day- please do your part and vote if you haven't already!

I voted Thursday and came home and found vomit on the carpet next to our bed- hopefully that won't happen to you.

from BotherVoting.org