Happy Valentine's Day! (2 Weeks Late)

I took Valentine pictures of Hayden a couple weeks ago and forgot to share them with you all. Hey it's still February for one more day. Happy Leap Year!

Jack's 5th Birthday

Tuesday the 21st, was Jack's 5th birthday. It's hard to believe it's been so long. This year I actually had to think long and hard about how old he would have been. Five, he would have been 5 years old. Wow. I can't even imagine having a five year old running around here. My mom was talking the other day about having three little boys around the house, but the truth of the matter is, if we hadn't lost Sam, we wouldn't have had Jack. If we hadn't have lost Jack, there wouldn't be a Hayden. It sucks that that's how things have to work out but our journey is what led us to where we are. I often say I wouldn't trade Hayden for anything, and the reality is I had to trade my two first born for him, only I didn't have a say in the matter.

Notice Hayden's outfit? We got that onesie from Target about 3 or 4 years ago and have saved it ever since for a son that would wear it. Jack's birthday was just that occasion. We also bought the same shirt in size 2T for later on :-)

We started the day off by heading to the cemetery to see the boys. I'm ashamed to admit that we haven't been to the cemetery since Sam's birthday in August, before Hayden was born. So this was the first time taking Hayden. We took Autumn as well and she was hovering over his car seat and caught his attention. He looks at her but not usually with that much intrigue. I just thought it was cute.

In the midst of packing up the entire house for an outing, we forgot the cleaning supplies for the headstones. I guess it doesn't really matter though. We took flowers to the boys and sang to Jack while Daddy told Hayden about his older brothers.

It was so different this year than last. Last year, we shared a grocery store cupcake for Jack's birthday. I was pregnant with Hayden but we were still unsure of how things would turn out- there were a lot of tears. This year, we were sad and missed him as we always do, but it just felt different having a live son there at the cemetery with us. Bittersweet is a good word to describe it, I guess. A few years ago, Mr. H bought an extra plot at the cemetery next to Sam and Jack just in case we ever needed it. That makes me sad to think about it, but he did it for me. He knew if we ever lost another I'd want them all together. But I can't help but think that could have potentially belonged to Hayden. I'm so thankful that he's in our arms and not in the ground. I hope and pray to God that that plot is never filled.

Later in the day, we took Hayden for a follow-up appointment for his kidneys. He got an ultrasound of his kidneys and bladder. His right kidney has improved significantly and the left is still enlarged and fluid filled, but it hasn't gotten worse over the past few months. The doctors are concerned about possible infection, but so far so good. He'll have another checkup in May. He was a good little patient.

Afterwards, we stopped by the Ronald McDonald House to visit with Ronald.

Then stopped to smell the flowers (and bees).

In other news, we got Hayden a Bumbo off of Craigslist. I waited to get him one because I wasn't sure if he'd like it, but so far he does. Sometimes when we hold him, we just tries to get away because he wants to do things on his own but he still wants to be near us. We usually keep it on the floor for safety reasons but he sat on the couch with his Poppa the other day and seemed to really enjoy it. He's such a cheeseball. You'll notice he's hanging on to his feet. That's his new thing. He found them a few weeks ago and loves to play with them. He'd rather play with his toes than any other toy. And his new trick is laying on his back, grabbing his feet and rolling on the floor, only he refuses to roll over completely, he just rolls over to his side, shifts positions, then does it again. After a few minutes, he's moved himself over a few feet.

Who needs teethers when you have cold metal coffee table legs? Yes, that's his soother of choice. Doesn't care for nubby teethers, cool gel teethers or frozen wash cloths. That is what he wants and it keeps him entertained because he can see his refelection in the chrome. He's so funny!

Happy Birthday Jack. We love you!

My Little Penguin

I shared this picture on my other blog and wanted to post it here too because the boy is just too dang cute! He wore this penguin sweater for Christmas but I didn't get any pictures of him wearing it so I put it back on him last week before taking the tree down and snapped a few pics. I think they turned out fairly well for an impromptu photo shoot.

Not only did I want pictures of him in his sweater before he outgrew it, but I wanted a couple pictures of him by himself in front of the boys' Christmas tree. Except he's not quite sitting up on his own yet and we don't have a Bumbo, so I just layed him on his belly on the ottoman and slid it in front of the tree- it was the perfect height.

I also liked this picture because in the background are Sam and Jack's painted ornaments (the porcelain discs above Hayden's shoulder and above the red ornament), as well as Hayden's handprint. I wanted a "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament but never bought one because I thought we would have gotten one as a gift. We didn't. And when I tried to find one, they were either sold out or I didn't like them. So we just made one with supplies we had on hand- a glass ornament, craft glue and white glitter. I think it kind of looks like a Mickey Mouse paw. haha! On the back side of the ornament, I wrote the date in with a silver paint marker.

The Difference A Year Makes

This day last year, we found out we were pregnant. It was a scary feeling. Of course I was happy and thrilled, but the fear overwhelmed me. Years rolled down my face because I didn't know what the future would hold. I didn't know if the baby I was carrying would survive, if everything would be okay. Though I hoped with all my heart, I just couldn't imagine what my life would be like with a living child. A year later, this is the miracle that was growing inside me. Not only did he survive, but he thrived and has grown into an amazing little being. It's amazing the difference a year makes.

This is the stick I peed on a year ago. It still says I'm pregnant to this day.

And this is what we made! Gorgeous little Hayden.

He rolled over for the first time on his own last Sunday. We were so proud of him. I'm sure he would have done this sooner, but I'm terrible at making sure he does "tummy time". Mostly because he hates it, so I always give in and turn him back over. And because he always spits up in this position. He looks rather unhappy in these photos- not because I am forcing him to show off for the camera, but because he had the hiccups. He HATES the hiccups. That second picture in the collage looks likes he's crying out for help. haha!

Well Hayden turned 4 months old on the first of the month. He has gone through a growth spurt and all his size 3 month footed jammies that were fitting last week are no longer long enough. It's like he just grew overnight! I had a couple pairs of jammies in his diaper bag last night. I tried to put them on him and it was like stuffing a sausage. He was a trooper but he was rather annoyed after his third outfit change.

He went to the doctor this past Tuesday for his 4 month check up. He got his DTap vaccination and didn't even flinch. It was 4 hours later when the pain set in. He cried a terrible cry, that left his momma in tears too. It was awful. I had given him Tylenol right after the shot, but forgot to give it to him later in the evening. He let me know, but it was too late. I've never heard him cry like that before. I felt guilty and helpless. Poor guy. Luckily once the meds kicked in he was fine for the rest of the evening. I've learned my lesson.

He weighs just over 16 pounds, which is only about a pound up from last month. His weight puts him in the 73rd percentile, and his height (26 inches) in the 75th percentile. We always tease him that he's got a big ol' noggin, but surprisingly, it's below average in size at the 25th percentile. Who knew?! I guess we can't make fun of him too much :-)

He's still only drinking breastmilk which the doctor says is just fine. As long as he's still growing and I'm producing enough for him, he's just fine to continue on an all milk diet. The doctor said I could start him on rice cereal but that it really wasn't necessary just yet. My mom bought him some but I think I'll hold off as long as I can. Once milk isn't enough, we'll add the cereal. Hayden is a good sleeper. He sleeps for about 6-7 hours, eats then goes right back to sleep for another 3 hours. He also takes about 3 naps during the day. I still don't get anything done, but at least he's getting the rest he needs.

He's starting to sit up on his own too. He sits with me in the recliner (leaning back) and he starts to pull himself up. He's got some good core strength. He's not really interested in sitting much though, he just wants to stand. We joke that one day he's just going to get up and walk on out of here. My grandma says he's just ready to go to school.

This is Hayden and I showering together when he was just one month old. I look back at him now and he looks so tiny. I love our time together in the shower and he loves the water. He just moves his head from side to side (like Stevie Wonder) when the water is falling down on him. He's a funny boy.When he was first born I'd give him a bath in the bathroom sink, but he quickly outgrew that. He still showers with me on a regular basis but he got his first bath in the kitchen sink this past week. Why? Because he had a major poopy diaper.

WARNING: POOPY PANTS BELOW!!!

What a slippery mess he was. And stinky!

And here he is enjoying the bath. Clean and happy! The outfit he was wearing was a whole other story though.

So there you are, Hayden's first couple weeks of 2012. A happy new year it is!

Hayden's First Christmas 2011

This may have been Hayden's first Christmas, but I was really the one who got the greatest gift this year, of the boy in blue with a red bow. Couldn't be more perfect, if you ask me.

We didn't do many gifts this year, but Hayden got some books that he helped unwrap and I got a birthstone ring to match the others I have. I'll have to take pictures of them to share on here. Together they are really beautiful.

After about 50 tries, I managed to set the camera up to take a family photo. Of course Autumn was sleeping on our bed and couldn't be bothered to sit with us, but that's okay. I love this photo. Family. That's what it's all about.