"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Monday, August 17, 2009

Hypothetical Question

I will do a post about Sam's birthday, but I have to get something off my chest:

Suppose you got an email from another (NON-DB mom) blogger. Suppose this email was sent on your child's 3rd birthday. And suppose in said email this person went on to tell you that they were envious of you. Envious for having your children already in heaven waiting for you instead of having to parent them in this "increasingly wicked world". Suppose this dip shit person was a new mother to a perfect infant boy. And suppose his name is Jack.

Suppose this all really happened. How would you respond?

23 comments:

Tina said...

I think I would have to recommend this person get a psych evaluation...maybe she is suffereing from post partum depression. How can anyone in their right mind be envious of us??? Wow...Sorry you had to deal with that crap on Sam's day.
xx

Mirne said...

Umm ... tell her to F*** off??

Tina's probably right ... she's maybe suffering from post natal depression, but that's not your problem. Perhaps it would be polite of you to respond to her email pointing out that she doesn't know what she's talking about, and that every SINGLE baby-lost mama you know would rather have her baby in her arms than waiting in heaven. In fact, if someone said such a stupid thing to me, I would probably be moved to VIOLENCE against that person.

Crap indeed.

Seraphim said...

My initial reaction was RAGE that anyone would write that to you. BUT on reflection, my thought was that person who hypothetically sent the email is clearly very unwell and needs help. Truly.
Sending love.
xxxx

froggy mommy said...

Wow. I hope she gets help - she has to be ill. You must be so angry. It seems cruel to send you that note. Hugs!

Anonymous said...

I am so dumbfounded I don't even know what to think about something like that. As a DB mama, I am horrified, but as the other ladies have said, it sounds like this woman needs help.

Stacey

Virginia said...

First reaction: Ask her what the f*ck is wrong with her and slap her silly.

However, I would say something is seriously wrong with this woman, and she needs help. Fast.

The Mom said...

I'd offer to trade places in a heartbeat!

What the h*ll is wrong with people!

christyna said...

I would tell her that she's an insensitive bitch and if she really believes that she shouldn't be allowed to procreate or speak to other people. or I'd tell her I'd stab her in the eye with a fork if she ever said anything stupid like that again. what a c*nt (sorry but is really appropriate). wow.

christyna said...

also as a side note I know people who technically have no real mental problems that are just so self absorbed they can't see how comments like that could matter or hurt. Some people are just clueless and hurtful. there should be a thing at birth that prevents morons from procreating.

Becky said...

First, I'm speechless. I don't even know what I would say. I agree with Tina and everyone else. She obviously needs some help and is perhaps suffering from PPD.

I would do anything to have my baby's here. It baffles my mind that someone would be 'envious' of us?! That just doesn't make sense...it's even hard for me to write 'envy' and 'deadbaby' in the same sentence unless its us that are envious.

The Nanny said...

Simply say, "I'm so sorry you feel that way." And leave it at that.

Bitch.

Sophie said...

OMG. Seriously? Wow, the human race is so disappointing sometimes.

Rachel said...

I tried to post earlier, but my computer locked up and it appears it didn't work.

I think I would just ignore her. It was insensitive and an odd comment, but obviously she has something else going on to make her think that.

I feel very sorry for her son.

missing_one said...

I wouldn't respond at all. That type of email sounds like it was generated to get a rise out of you. Who could ever think that?

*hugs*

tyfamilyadventures said...

do you need help kicking ass???totally here if you need it hugs....

Mrs. A said...

You have to be kidding! If you need help kicking some a** please let me know!
How could a person say or even think that!
This hypothetical person needs help...and a lot of it!
Good Luck and I am sorry you had to deal with that on Sam's special day!

Kristi said...

(I thought I posted earlier, but it hasn't shown up. Hrmmmm...)

It hurts when people say thoughtless things. This woman probably needs help, but it's not your responsibility. I'd want to yell about her, but that probably won't solve anything.

Sorry you had to receive that on Sam's day.

Amanda said...

Thats HORRIBLE and AWFUL and so insensitive!! People really dont THINK!!! I'm so sorry. (((HUGS))) I am in complete shock... Take care my friend and here for you...

Marie W said...

My first thought was "are you serious???" What an a**$$le. No one should have to walk this world and as wicked as it is, I would much prefer to have my babies here with me where I can guide them, protect them, and teach them about the love and goodness of God.
Seriously Monica, I would have sent her a nasty e-mail (thats just me) telling her hpw ungrateful she is and that she should be praising God everyday for her beautiful baby boy. I am sure it was a stab in the heart and I am sending you hugs.

Holly said...

Wow. How could any mom want their baby to go to Heaven instead of being in their arms? I mean, I realize Heaven is the most wonderful place and all but still.... I don't understand that a bit! I'd prolly tell them they have no clue what they are talking about. It's easy for them to say stuff like that when they don't have a child that died.

Beth said...

Wow. I don't even know how to respond to that....seriously....I would just be speechless.

DO people NOT think???

jaded said...

I'd knock their teeth out - at least i'd want to.

this is the crazist sh*t i have read in a long time.

people are weird. keep your distance emotionally speaking and don't put to much weight on their words.

Hennifer said...

Um... I'm just reading this for the first time and totally shaking my head and hurting for you, knowing this must be especially difficult during this time and with that sweet name.

Thinking of you both!