Life and Death

I have a few things to talk about and some complaining to do (what else is new?) but we'll start off on a good note.

This is a bloom from our Bradford Pear tree we planted in honor of Sam and Jack in April over Arbor Day weekend. We chose a pear because of the beautiful white blooms, even though it doesn't bear fruit. I have been worried about it, because it's still a young tree and we have such rocky soil in our neighborhood, but it is still thriving in October. Mr. H spotted the first bloom a couple of weeks ago. Isn't it simply beautiful?


Okay, my in-laws and Mr. H went to a green building seminar this weekend. They are custom home builders, so it was beneficial to them to learn something new by saving energy and the environment. After the 8 hour class at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center, they came back to our house. I don't mind when they come over, but I feel like the house is never clean enough, or it's too cold (75 degrees) or something. They always find something to pick at and it drives me nuts. They came over and my MIL fell asleep on the couch, so my FIL paced around the house (I don't know why). We have more than one place to sit, but he didn't sit. Instead, he made comments on our dirty toilet (I didn't clean the master because I didn't think they would be using that toilet. I only cleaned the guest bathroom), the smudges on our back door, he wiped crumbs off our counter tops and opened the fridge a few times, then adjusted the thermostat after putting his jacket on. "Sit down!", is all I wanted to say to him. Then when my MIL woke up she says, "Do you want your plant to die?" I asked her which plant she was referring to and she said "The ivy dying in the kitchen." Ugh!!! They drive me nuts. I know this plant needs to be replanted, but I haven't done it, because I don't have a pot to replant it in and I keep forgetting to get one. It looks sad and I know that but when I tried to tell her that I am going to replant it, she said "Well some water would help in the meantime." I have watered it, but their isn't enough soil in the over sized plastic container it is in to make a difference. It doesn't have a drainage hole and it collects too much water and gets soggy. (It was a gift given to us when Jack died that had about 6 different plants thrown together in one pot. I replanted the others and ran out of pots.) Every time she comes over she not-so slyly sticks her bony finger in my plants to check to see if they're watered. I know she does this and I've called her out on it and she makes a joke out of it. I don't think it's funny. I do not have a green thumb, but I am trying to do the best I can and she makes me want to kill them just so I can get her off my back. When I know they are coming over and I don't have time to properly water and drain them, I'll pour a glass of water in the pots, just so they won't be dry. She then says I am over watering. I can't win.

On another note, my step dad's mother passed away last Thursday (10/25) from cancer. She has been fighting this battle for a while and now she is no longer suffering. She had cancer of the perineum (that band of skin between your vagina and your anus). They did two surgeries to remove the tumor, but they couldn't get it all out. They removed much of her tissue 'down there' leaving a void and had to give her a colostomy to use the bathroom. The cancer spread to her kidneys, liver, lungs, then into her throat. As of last Tuesday (10/16) she wasn't able to swallow anymore, so on top of being in pain, she was hungry and thirsty too. They could have given her an IV or feeding tube, but that would have only prolonged the agony. Hospice was there by her side to try to make her as comfortable as possible. Despite the constant morphine being given to her every 15 minutes, she was still hurting. I am so glad she is not suffering anymore. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through. The funeral was this morning and many friends and family were present to show their love and support.

Carolina L. Garza

Ocober 23, 1921-October 25, 2007