I'm Still Here

Thanks for all the comments regarding the Vlasic pickle bird! They made me laugh, which is really what I needed. :-) So again, thank you.

I meant to update yesterday, but I was so busy. I made an apple pie for Mr. H, went to physical therapy for the upteenth time then came home and made and assembled a tiered birthday cake for LD. His birthday was today and I was up til 3 last night finishing it. Then I had trouble falling asleep.

So here I am. I'd like to say I am well rested, but I am not. LD's birthday party was today. A. asked me to make his birthday cake. I agreed, but she never spoke to me about the details of his party. I honestly didn't even think I was invited. I just thought that the party was this evening, and I was to bring the cake. I was wrong.

His party started at 3 this afternoon and 4 kids and their parents came over, plus 3 other friends of the family. There were about 20 people there. We ate goldfish and animal crackers, hit the pinata, ran after wee ones, cleaned up several spilt drinks, then got to eat the cake I made and opened presents. We were there til after 6. I say "we" because Mr. H showed up for the last hour to offer moral support. I love him. 95% of the time the new baby (His name is M.arco, but I'll call him Polo) was sleeping, so he wasn't really an issue today. But right before we left, A. came over holding Polo and showed him off to Mr. H. "Look Mr. H, have you seen the new baby?" Then we left. Good timing, huh? Walking down the driveway in the dark,I was tempted to break the storks legs. Wouldn't that be funny?

Rewind to Monday: I got upset after seeing that damn bird. I took a few deep breaths and walked through the front door. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I wanted to turn back around and go home. I was hoping Polo was asleep, because I didn't want to see or hear him coo or cry. I walked straight through their house to their living room, where LD and I play and set my stuff down. I passed their master bedroom where the door was wide open and A. was sitting in the rocker nursing. I didn't make eye contact. Instead I kept going. LD was asleep and the living room was straightened out, so I didn't have anything to do. A. called me into the room to see her new baby. I kept my distance and looked at him. He was tiny and wrinkly. Perfect.

As she sat in her yellow padded rocking chair burping her baby she started to tell me about him. Her lips were moving, but I didn't hear anything. When she was done, I smiled and left the room. I went to the living room and wiped all his toys and books down with Clorox wipes--trying to keep busy. The family went into the dining room adjacent to the living room to eat their lunch. Ma, Pa, GMa, Boy and Baby. One big happy family. I was in the other room chanting to myself "please don't cry, please don't cry..." I was afraid the baby would cry and I would lose it. Instead it had an opposite effect and my eyes started to tear up. I wiped them and moved on.

Shortly after lunch, A. had to take Polo to the Pediatrician, so LD and I went to the park. We stayed there most of the afternoon. On the way there, I called Mr. H and he met us there. I needed a distraction and someone adult to speak to. We had a nice quiet, peaceful time. We took our time walking back to their house and I gave him his afternoon snack, then went home. My day wasn't as rough as I though it was going to be, but it was sad. Today wasn't bad either, we'll see how tomorrow is.

Rachel, thanks for checking up and worrying about me. You're a sweetheart.

I'll leave you with a picture of LD at the park. Happy Birthday Buddy!