Sincerely, Monica

I have a confession to make.

Whenever I found out someone else was pregnant and I wasn't, I used to sing this song. It made me laugh, if only temporarily. It was what I needed.

I don't do that anymore. Whenever I hear that song on the radio, I still chuckle a little bit, but I don't think of any of you. Aren't you glad?

I also have to admit, that whenever I heard or read of another pregnancy, in real life or in blogland, it stung. It hurt because it wasn't me and I so badly wanted it to be. I also know that no one can stop living their life just because I was still hurting, and the same thing goes for me.

I remember a time when everyone was getting pregnant but me. Hell, we weren't even trying so there was no way we could get pregnant. That in itself was hard. This is what I wrote just over a year ago, in this post:

"I feel like I've been left behind. Almost every week, I read of a new pregnancy or a new birth. I am thrilled for the new mothers or soon-to-be mothers because I know the long road they took to get there. I know the heartache they went through to get where they are. I am happy for them because it's a dream come true, but it becomes increasingly harder to read. Then I get upset and start to feel sorry for myself. Then Mr. H wants to know what is wrong and I don't want to tell him because all he is going to say is "stop reading blogs if they upset you". He has a point, but I'm still going to get upset over my own life and not being pregnant and he doesn't want to hear all that. So, I continue to read because it gives me hope that it will happen someday."

A lot has change over the past year and I know my time will come. It's been 6 months so far and we're still trying. And that's okay. We've made and are still making progress towards our future, and that's all I ever wanted.

I just hope that when ever my time comes that there are no hard feelings towards me. I know a few of you out there, are currently trying, are going through IVF, are waiting to try again, or are still in a place where you so badly want a baby in your arms and don't. Please know I think of you all. I pray for you all everyday and I wish you the life you want and so badly deserve.

I thank you all for supporting me on this journey and I wish this person a very sincere congratulations!