"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Monday, April 19, 2010

Filling In The Blanks

Sorry guys for asking for your prayers and thoughts for my cousin and not filling you in on the outcome. My cousin is doing very well and was released from the hospital last week. He's getting his life back together doing better than we all expected. We appreciate all your kind thoughts. I truly believe they got him through this. Thank you.

I've been sick for the last 10 days and feeling like major crud. I went to the doctor and he said it was a virus and sent me home. wtf? So I've been taking lots of cold medicine and allergy stuff in attempts to get better. Finally feeling a little better but I'm still pretty congested and coughing quite a bit. ugh.

Still taking care of the kiddos but I'm working a couple hours extra a week. LD goes to school a couple days a week so on those days I pick him up from school at noon then take care of his the rest of the day. Since I was sick last week, it was hell! It took everything I had not to call in sick, of course that meant I was falling asleep at work.

Since I pick up LD from school on my way to work, that means I have to have a car seat in my vehicle. Did you just read that? I have a car seat in my vehicle! I feel like such a fraud. I guess on the outside my life looks ideal. I live in the suburbs, I drive a big SUV and I have a car seat in the back, which must mean I have the perfect family and life. very soccer mom-ish, no? It really irritates me to have that seat in my car. I almost feel like people are judging me because of it. Or maybe that's just me judging other people because that's how I feel about the situation???

Anyway, I had a thought today. I was driving to my moms house and approached a red light. I stopped and glanced over to my left and saw a weed growing out of the concrete through a crack. I've always marveled at that because I just think it's amazing how life just happens and thrives in the most unexpected places. Really, what are the odds? Then I thought, my uterus is kind of like the concrete. I'm just waiting for a crack in which something will grow. Really, what are the odds?

8 comments:

Virginia said...

I was just about to look for your e-mail address so I could check in on you...wondering how you're doing...but I guess I know, eh? I wish I knew what the odds were. But it doesn't really matter, as we've all been on the wrong side of the odds after anticipating we were on the "right" side.

I'm glad your cousin is better, and I think of you all the time. Hugs.

symphonious sweets said...

Miracles do happen just don't lose hope. Your honesty in this post is so bold and I appreciate you sharing your feelings. I feel like a fraud too. On the outside I have a great job and my life looks together. In reality I am a single career girl who hates her job and wants a more authentic life. If only I could figure out what my "authentic" life is! Hope you feel better soon!

Sophie said...

It's good to hear from you and read about your cousin's positive outcome :). I like what you said about the little growing weed, it's so true!

Rachel said...

I'm glad your cousin is doing better.

Monica, you are not a fraud. I know it's hard caring for someone else's child when all you want is to be able to care for your own. I hope your uterus "cracks" soon.

Mrs. A said...

That is an awesome thought to think about the little growing weed...it made me smile! Glad your cousin is doing better! Hugs to you!

erinunbe said...

Monica...Loved your post today...glad to see you back:)

Kristi said...

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well.

That's a great image - the weed breaking through the concrete. Positive thoughts!!

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Thankful for the news of your cousin and his recovery. Yea! Glad you're beginning to feel better too. You are NOT a fraud! Remember... everything is never what it appears. I am constantly blown away by the ways I'm proven wrong about things I thought I knew for sure. Never assume, that's my new motto. Everything is never as it seems and just when I think I want or need what I (think I) don't have I realize that people that look like they have it don't really have it either.

I know, with everything in me, that you will have your miracle.

Love to you!