"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

August's Story



It's been a week to the hour since our sweet bunny, August died. It seems like forever ago yet it's still so fresh in my mind.

I've mentioned before that he had respiratory issues. Over the last three years we've made several emergency vet visits late at night. We've shed tears because we worried about him and we feared we'd lose him. But he kept on truckin'. He always did. He'd have an "episode", where he's produce extraneous amounts of mucus, he'd gasp for air, he'd clear it, then he'd be fine and act as normal as could be. It was baffling.

A few weeks ago he started hacking, we checked on him and instead of clear mucus it was dark green, like spinach. He rushed him to the vet at 2 am, and the vet said it looked like stomach contents and diagnosed him with having reflux disease. Alright then. As always, once he did his thing, he was fine. Last week started off the same. I held him in my lap, stroked his soft fur, whispered in his ears and gave him kisses on his head. His heart rate was elevated but he seemed okay.

Then all of a sudden mucus started coming from his nose, he was gasping for air, then he started kicking, he began to thrash and tried to escape me. We tried to calm him down and hold him still because we didn't want him to hurt himself. He kicked off of me, scratched my neck, so I gave him to Mr. H. He tried to contain him and he did the same thing. I took him back and as he kicked, he fell onto the floor, which was only a foot and a half off the ground.

I worriedly picked him up, only to find that he was no longer kicking but eerily still. He was still breathing at a rapid rate, but his body seemed lifeless. I began to panic and cry. I just knew he was dying. Mr. H called the ER vet and they told us to bring him in. We scurried around the house, with him swaddled in our arms, trying to get our shoes on. I was freaking out and beside myself. Mr. H was holding him as he took his last breaths. He was gone.

It just happened so fast. It was/is so surreal. We knew one day he'd pass, but we never thought it would happen this early. He was only 3 years old. Of course this all brings me back to loss and the boys. And how I'm convinced that we're not meant to have boys and how they all seem to die on us. I feel like I've let him down. I know that his death was not my fault and I don't blame myself but I feel like I should have been able to do something for him.

We got August after the boys died because bunnies just reminded us of them. He brought us so much joy and laughter. He was such a spas but he was a sweetheart. He definitely had a personality and we will miss his quirkiness and his super soft, fine hair that stuck to everything. He helped fill a void in our lives and put smiles back on our faces. He was more than a pet and we miss him so much.

8 comments:

RedHead said...

Very sorry to hear about this. I love pets but they always go too soon. And it's always more and more heartbreaking. But I still keep getting them for that endless love thing. Very sad though. Hope your days start to brighten up somehow, someway.

Sophie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your sweet bunny. He sounded precious. :*(

The Nanny said...

That's just so sad :( I'm so sorry.

Seraphim said...

Monica I am so sorry about your precious bunny. He looks like an absolute sweetheart. i can imagine how much you miss him xxx

Gabrielle said...

So sorry to hear about your bunny. I check your blog often and this is my first comment. Just want to send you well wishes and sympathies on the loss of your furry family member. You are such a lovely person I hope you have some rays of sunshine soon.

jaded said...

Monica, I am so sorry for the ordeal you and Mr. H went through before August's passing. Peaches is almost 9 years old and I know that one day she will go and I will be beside myself.
On another note i'd like to think that his passing means that something is on it's way to fill that void.

BasilBean said...

Monica, I'm so sorry to hear about August. It's so hard to lose someone so dear.

christyna said...

Oh Mon I'm so sorry!! August is with the boys you know, and that means all the love you poured into that bunny is now getting shared with Sam & Jack.

I hate losing pets, in fact I consider my pets part of the family and not even pets. {{hugs}}