Let The Countdown Begin!

My goal this pregnancy was to make it to at least 36 weeks and I've done it! My ultimate goal, obviously, is to bring a live baby home, and in 6 days he'll be here!

6 DAYS!!!

In my heart, I am ready, but I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared yet and I'm not sure I'll ever be. We've been on this journey for just over 5 years and next Thursday Sam and Jack's brother will be born into this world- it's all so very surreal.

This past Tuesday, I went to my doctor appointment and got my last P-17 injection. Of course I had to document it so I could show him when he's a teenager (and making me pull my hair out) all I went through for him. And when I tell him he's a pain in my butt, I can show him that giant needle! haha!

My BP and protein levels weren't great at my last appointment, but they weren't horrible either. At this point as long as my numbers aren't increasing, my doctor isn't too worried. After tomorrow, I only have one more appointment before the bambino gets here, so as long as I don't have any complications within the next week all is still planned for next Thursday. I asked my doctor why she didn't want me to go past 37 weeks and she said it's because at that point my risk for Eclampsia goes way up and so does my risk for seizures and stillbirth. Neither of those am I interested in!

It seems once week 35 came along, I started to get uncomfortable. It's also when the stretch marks started to show their ugly face. Really, I shouldn't complain, because they're small and there are few, but still, they're not pretty. Mr. H says they're not ugly, but I think he's just trying to make me feel better about them. I don't imagine them getting much bigger or darker in the next week so that's a good thing. However, I swear this child is trying to bust his way out through my belly button. The pressure is insane!

Most days I feel fine, but days like today I feel miserable and can't get comfortable. I feel like my stomach is in my chest and I can't breathe, which makes me rather cranky. Mister has also learned a new trick this week- kicking me under my ribs on the right side. Yes, I'm complaining but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I've looked forward to getting here for so long and my discomfort won't last much longer, then I'm sure I'll miss it.

I got my "thank you" notes from the baby shower out into the mail yesterday...finally. I also got a haircut yesterday and I feel so much lighter. It got to the point that even in a ponytail, my hair was too long. I think she cut off about 4-5 inches. Now if I could just reach my toes to get them painted...

6 More Days People! Ahhhhh!

Another Birthday and An Overnight Hospital Stay

Sunday was this blogs 4 year anniversary. But I always forget about this because the very next day is Baby Sam's birthday. Only this year he would have been 5 years old, and no longer a baby.

Mr. H and I were pondering what we'd be doing, and what our lives would be like had he survived, and this year, he would have been going to Kindergarten. We would be going to Target to pick out a lunch box and crayons and a dinosaur t-shirt to wear on the first day. And it's just not like that.

I was okay for most of the day, then we went out to the cemetery that evening to visit his grave. We cleaned his and Jack's headstones, only I didn't contribute much. My belly was hurting and it was bothering me to bend over. So we sang to him and took him a tractor toy and then I lost it. I was distracted for most of the day, because I've never been pregnant on either of their birthdays, with the exception of this year. It was different in February for Jack's birthday though, because I still wasn't sure this baby would make it. Now I'm 35 weeks pregnant and it's very real.

I'm so grateful to be carrying this baby, but I can't help but think that Sam and Jack should be here. I never thought I'd be pregnant for the third time. It's just a lot to process sometimes.

All that being said, I intended to write about Sam's birthday on Tuesday, then my doctor put me back in the hospital. The protein levels in my urine went way up and she worried that my liver and kidneys weren't functioning correctly so in I went. I was only there for a little over 24 hours. I did yet another (the 6th to date) 24-hour urine collection and they monitored my BP. It went as high as 140/90 then regulated back down to a normal range. A couple weeks ago, the protein count in my urine was 560, last week it was 430 and then yesterday it was down to 304! What?! I don't know how it keeps going down, because that rarely ever happens, but I'm grateful for it.

My doctor also scheduled my c-section. She says she doesn't let patients with pre-eclampsia go past 37 weeks, so she set the date for August 31st. But the OR was booked that day, so it was moved to September 1st, which I like much better because I want this baby to have his own birth month. Now we just have to cross our fingers and hope that he continues to bake until then.

We put the crib together and washed the bedding. We washed his laundry from 0-6 months and packed his drawers and closet. The nursery isn't quite ready yet, but we are pretty much there and we have mostly everything we need for his arrival. He'll be here in 2 weeks or less! Not sure how much he'll weigh, but as of Tuesday, according to his measurements he was 5 lbs. 11 oz. Holy cow!

At Home, Still On Bedrest

Well I'm home!

I still have to stay on bedrest, but I can do it from the comfort of my own bed and couch versus being in the hospital. And I've done this before when I was pregnant with Jack. At least I know what to expect. The nurses at the hospital were truly wonderful and caring, but it's hard being strapped to a monitor 18 hours a day and trying to rest all while they're coming in every 2 hours to take my blood pressure and temperature.

So far I've completed 3 24-hour urine tests. They've all come back the same, with my levels being in the 500's. The range is from 300 (pre-eclamptic) to 5000 (severe). My levels are still pretty low and they haven't increased over the past week and that is why I got to go home. That and because my blood pressure was regulated and normal as long as I was doing absolutely nothing. When I first got there, Friday afternoon, they were checking my BP every 27 minutes, then it was every 2 hours. Just getting up to go to the bathroom or showering made my BP rise, so I have been given strict orders to do absolutely nothing.

That is hard for me. I'm a somewhat lazy person by nature, but I like the freedom of doing what I want when I want and I just can't right now. It's not like I'm wanting to go shopping or partying or painting the nursery, I just want to sweep the kitchen floor and blow dry my hair while standing up without feeling overwhelmed. I want to make breakfast, not give orders from the couch on how to preheat the pan without overbrowning the butter. Ya know? It's only been a few days and I know I'll be okay. It's just frustrating because I feel like I've done my very best to have a safe and full term pregnancy and every little thing that can happen has, whether it be bleeding at 6 weeks, a wonky 1st screen and trisomy scare, or needing additional testing for gestational diabetes to this. I swear I didn't do anything different or wrong, it just happens and it's stressful.

I know I'm so lucky to be where I am in this pregnancy and I know that things could be so much worse. So I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining about the little things. I just worry about my little man and hope he's okay. And I know that even if he is born early and has to go stay in the NICU, that that will be the best and safest place for him out of the womb. And I've accepted that my belly may eventually not be the safest place for him to be either, even though that's a difficult one to comprehend. I just want him to stay in there a little longer and continue to grow.

I'm 33 weeks today and went to the doctor yesterday for another checkup. My weight is back down to where it was last week, minus a couple pounds. My BP was slightly elevated but that was after walking from the car to the exam room and it wasn't any higher than last week. The protein levels in my urine have stayed the same, which baffles my doctor. She says that they almost always increase from day to day and mine haven't. I'll have to do a 24-hour urine collection again on Thursday to take back on Friday for analysis. I'll also have to see the doctor twice weekly, rather than just once a week. So from now on until I deliver, I'll be going to the doctor on Tuesday and Fridays. And I'll be getting u/s with each visit to make sure that the little guy is still growing and that his blood flow is as it should be.

As of yesterday, he was just perfect. We were also able to see his face a little more clearly because it seems he always has his hands over his face. He clearly has my nose and lips :-)

I'll keep up all updated as I know something more. My doctor thinks I'll still deliver early, but perhaps we'll make it past the 34 week mark. Which is a good thing, because that's only one week away! I'm not quite ready for him to make his appearance yet. I'd be thrilled to make it to 36 weeks. Cross your fingers for me!

And as always, thank youfor being here for me. I appreciate your comments, emails, prayers and concern. They mean so much to me and help me get through another day.

~Monica