"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Another Birthday and An Overnight Hospital Stay

Sunday was this blogs 4 year anniversary. But I always forget about this because the very next day is Baby Sam's birthday. Only this year he would have been 5 years old, and no longer a baby.

Mr. H and I were pondering what we'd be doing, and what our lives would be like had he survived, and this year, he would have been going to Kindergarten. We would be going to Target to pick out a lunch box and crayons and a dinosaur t-shirt to wear on the first day. And it's just not like that.

I was okay for most of the day, then we went out to the cemetery that evening to visit his grave. We cleaned his and Jack's headstones, only I didn't contribute much. My belly was hurting and it was bothering me to bend over. So we sang to him and took him a tractor toy and then I lost it. I was distracted for most of the day, because I've never been pregnant on either of their birthdays, with the exception of this year. It was different in February for Jack's birthday though, because I still wasn't sure this baby would make it. Now I'm 35 weeks pregnant and it's very real.

I'm so grateful to be carrying this baby, but I can't help but think that Sam and Jack should be here. I never thought I'd be pregnant for the third time. It's just a lot to process sometimes.

All that being said, I intended to write about Sam's birthday on Tuesday, then my doctor put me back in the hospital. The protein levels in my urine went way up and she worried that my liver and kidneys weren't functioning correctly so in I went. I was only there for a little over 24 hours. I did yet another (the 6th to date) 24-hour urine collection and they monitored my BP. It went as high as 140/90 then regulated back down to a normal range. A couple weeks ago, the protein count in my urine was 560, last week it was 430 and then yesterday it was down to 304! What?! I don't know how it keeps going down, because that rarely ever happens, but I'm grateful for it.

My doctor also scheduled my c-section. She says she doesn't let patients with pre-eclampsia go past 37 weeks, so she set the date for August 31st. But the OR was booked that day, so it was moved to September 1st, which I like much better because I want this baby to have his own birth month. Now we just have to cross our fingers and hope that he continues to bake until then.

We put the crib together and washed the bedding. We washed his laundry from 0-6 months and packed his drawers and closet. The nursery isn't quite ready yet, but we are pretty much there and we have mostly everything we need for his arrival. He'll be here in 2 weeks or less! Not sure how much he'll weigh, but as of Tuesday, according to his measurements he was 5 lbs. 11 oz. Holy cow!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great going, dear! So happy for you! God bless you, your husband and the little one!

From the Kitchen said...

I love your new photo! When I first saw your comment on my blog, I thought you were someone new. You look beautiful--radiant! How exciting to be almost there!! I know how much fun it is to wash all those sweet little clothes and get them ready. I know you'll be amazed at just how fast he outgrows them!!

I was just at Target feeling sad because my boys were all grown up. You'll get there in a few years.

Let us know when he's here. Of course, we'll need photos too!!

Best,
Bonnie

Virginia said...

SO happy you posted--been checking obsessively. Sorry for another hospital stay but I'm excited for the date of arrival! August 31st is my birthday, btw, which is a wonderful day to be born, in my opinion, if you want to sneak in there....

Heidi F said...

Glad to hear you made it this far. That little boy will be just fine when he comes out. I will pray for 9/1 for you so you can have that separate birth month. Having been in that same spot with Cameron and Lucas, I know that is important. Glad you had a mostly peaceful day on Monday.

katie shrum said...

wow, 2 weeks?? the longest and shortest 2 weeks of your life, I'm sure! can't wait to hear all about your newest adventure :)

Radhika said...

I love that you still think and feel of your boys as your sons.....it's touching.
Even if I cannot relate to what you've been through, it's lovely to read the beauty & strength of what you share through your words (& photos).
My blessings and prayers, take care! :)

Kristi said...

Thank you for the updates! I'm so excited for you.


All the emotions are tough! Just today a woman brought a 7 week old baby girl by to see other co-workers. I could only think of my Sara. Luckily I was able to remove myself from the situation. Five years later and it's still tough! This baby will know about his older brothers!

Love to you all!
Kristi

eatatallies said...

Thinking of you on Sam's birthday week. I can only imagine the range of emotions you must be feeling. You are an amazing mom to all your boys. I am really hoping this little guy can hold out until September 1st, my birthday ;)

Travelwahine said...

Monica,
I've been checking on you constantly. Everytime I come to your blog, I smile :) I'm so happy for you. Almost there. How exciting.

Happy 5th Birthday Sam! Wishing you and Jack were here, eagerly anticipating the birth of your new baby brother.

Hugs xoxo

The Nanny said...

Thank you for checking in and posting! So glad baby H is still doing so well :)

A belated very happy birthday to Sam. xoxo!

cybil said...

so happy for you!
praying all will go smoothly and accompanied by huge joy!!!

Rachel said...

Happy birthday Sam!

Your little one will be here in no time. I hope you are resting well. I will be checking in tons on the 1st waiting for pictures!

Sophie said...

I'm really excited for you. Happy b-lated birthday to your sweet Sam.

Looking forward to the birth of your September 1st sweetie :)!

The Captain's Daughter said...

So beyond happy for you, Monica! Positive thoughts... It's all going to be okay!

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