"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Storms

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass.....it's about learning how to dance in the rain" Author Unknown

Thank you for all your comments on my last post. I needed and appreciated them.

On Sunday, what I thought was my period, seemed to dissipate. It was almost watered down and pink, then brown and then nothing! And then I thought "I can handle this." and then Monday it came full force. So, needless to say, I've had many ups and downs in the last few days.

The thing is, I don't know if I was pregnant. I hoped I was. I somewhat believed I was and I became even more convinced with each passing day. But I was too chicken shit to pee on the stick. I honestly hoped that I would be pregnant and I could ignore it for a few weeks. In my mind that was easier to bear, than actually knowing.

If I tested and it was positive, then I got my period, I'd be devastated. So, in a way, I felt like I was doing myself a favor. If I didn't "know" then I didn't have a reason to be upset. But now it's too late and every time I go to the bathroom I investigate the contents on my tissue and my mind goes there. I should have tested but I didn't and I couldn't.

We'll see what happens next month.

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Last May, we had some scary weather, that involved lots of wind, a tornado warning and lots of hail banging on our kitchen windows.

Today, we had a similar occurrence. Only it was daylight, and not as windy, so I went outside to take pictures ;-)



Can you tell where Autumn likes to pee?


This reminded me of a snowball fight. Packing up your snowballs and piling them high, ready to take aim against the bullies in the neighborhood, or in my case, my older brother :-)


And this is our front flower beds. They look like they're covered in packing peanuts!


How's that for a hail storm? Gotta love Texas weather...

12 comments:

Seraphim said...

Again I'm so sorry Monica. Regardless, it wasn't the result you (or I) was hoping for. But I really believe that good things are going to happen for you soon. And those hailstones??? I could use them for golf, if I played golf. Which fortunately I don't.

my3sons said...

Try not to beat yourself up over not taking the test. I know the head games we play on ourselves can drive us nuts though:) I'm hoping it happens for you very soon.
Now, regarding the balls that fell out of the sky! OMG! We have had little marble size hail here before. Never that size. I wouldn't want to be outside when those come down!!

Rachel said...

I wouldn't want to know for sure. Losing another baby would be too hard. I am sorry you got your hopes up, but I would have too.

Hail scares me. Storms don't bother me, but hail does. Glad you guys are OK.

The Nanny said...

You're totally right--it does look like packing peanuts everywhere!

Kristi said...

We got rain, but no hail.

The mind games can drive us crazy. I'm not sure which situation would be better - knowing you were pregnant and losing the baby or always wondering if you were pregnant or just late. It's the "what if's" that eat at me. I can handle the definites - although they are hard in their own way.

mrsmuelly said...

Ooh, sorry about the AF inconsistency. Very, very annoying. I understand not taking the test, but don't beat yourself up about it. You were putting up a wall for protection - totally understandable.

Concerning the weather, WOW! You guys got hail and we got like 50mph winds. I thought our house was going to be blown over. It was quite hard to sleep through!

Hennifer said...

I'm sorry Monica. It seems there is no easy choice to make. Wishing you luck for next month!

and regarding the hail, we had some here in the NW the last few weeks, about the size of a pencil eraser.

I told my son that was nothing compared to what some people experience. Now I can show him first hand! Crazy!

missing_one said...

*hugs* fingers crossed for next month!

Coggy said...

That's why I never liked POAS until I really had to. I didn't want to know. I think it's a wise thing not to do some times.
I really hope next month brings better news.

We had hail here yesterday, but nothing like that!

lori said...

Holy Cow! We only live like 5 miles from each other and I saw none of that white stuff. Only rain. You probably hear our weeds singing!

Did ya'll have any damage?

BasilBean said...

Sometimes it's so hard to know what is the best thing to do. Some months I would POAS and some months I wouldn't...but I never even made it passed the TTW (even the month I finally got a positive it was on 11 dpo). Try not to dwell on the decision you made, you did what was best for you at the time. Based on how you feel now, you may do something different in the future. I have my fingers crossed for you and am keeping you in my thoughts.

jaded said...

Monica,
I saw a report on this weather on the news and thought of you. I sure hope you all ducked, those hailstones look fierce.