"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Alternate Title

I really wanted to title this post "F*cking Idiot"...

LD's mom, A, has a friend who is pregnant with tw1ns. One of the tw1ns is measuring behind of the other. She is currently measuring at 25 weeks, but the smaller tw1n is measuring 22 weeks. It started by one being just a couple days larger, then a week, then two and now three. I asked her what the diagnosis was, but she can't remember. It's a syndrome of some sort.

Anyway, she went to the doctor recently and the outcome is not good. They do not expect both tw1ns to survive. Because they are fra.ternal and not ident.ical they can't perform surgery on them, for whatever reason. They plan on delivering both babies once the smaller of the two reaches 28 weeks in gestation. That's 6 weeks away. They don't even expect the smaller tw1n to make it to that date.

So, in 6 weeks, the tw1ns will be delivered. The smaller will be 28 weeks and the older roughly 31 weeks. They could both survive, and they could both die, or one could live. No one really knows but they aren't too hopeful.

A. just doesn't get it. She's already purchased her a set of tw1n onesies and keeps encouraging her to buy things and paint the nursery pink (it's currently blue for her 2 year old son). She's not doing it to keep her hopeful and optimistic, she's doing it because she's always wanted a girl and she's treating her friends' pregnancy as if it were her own. She was talking to me about it today and saying how she doesn't understand why her friend isn't more motivated. DUH!

My advice: "whatever you do, do not give her those tw1ns onesies. If something happens, they'll be a painful reminder". Well too late, she already did.

13 comments:

Living With Loss said...

Oh that's so sad.

I really hope both the twins will be ok.

Some people just don't understand the pain do they?

my3sons said...

Wow, she isn't too bright is she? I pray those little babies both survive. What a sad situation. I don't think you have to have suffered a loss to know not to give gifts just yet. Just some common sense!

niobe said...

Just sitting here shaking my head. I really, really hope that the babies will both make it.

(and, trying to put the absolute best spin on what seems like incredible callous cluelessness -- maybe the pregnant mom finds some kind of comfort in having gifts for the twins. I know I certainly wouldn't, but...)

mrsmuelly said...

Seriously? Why is it so hard for people to "get". A baby may not live...bottom line!

Of course, hope springs eternal (or whatever). I hope and pray that the mom gets to use both onesies.

Rachel said...

I really hope the twins make it.

Kristi said...

A. sounds self-involved.

That poor mother of the twins. I'll be thinking of them.

Virginia said...

Yeesh. Get a clue already, lady!

I don't know. I just don't know.

Hennifer said...

Thinking of the twins.
Sorry about all the rest.
Egads!

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry that she just doesnt get it and that you have to deal w/ her stupidity. I only hope her friend doesnt learn the awful truth we only know so well. ((((HUGS)))) friend...

Sophie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this story :(, it breaks my heart for her...I just hope she doesn't feel added pressure with this lady living through her :/...optimism is good, but not when it's blind to reality.

christyna said...

i like what you were going to title it, sums it up pretty accurately. That poor family.

Reese said...

Christ.

Some people just don't get it.

Hoping the best.

jaded said...

i'm so sorry for that woman...i hope a miracle may be in store for her...as for L's mom...a miracle may not be enough...i don't want to call her dense, but come on!