Sunday, September 13, 2009

raining on my parade

It seems every other post I write is about a visit from AF. This one is no different. If you want to stop reading or if you want to comment and tell me to shut up and stop feeling sorry for self then go ahead. I deserve it.

With my cycle being thrown off because of the unexpected bleeding I had last month I wasn't sure when Aunt Flo would visit. She came today, which I half expected because I was having lower back pain a couple days ago. Before I went to bed last night I went to the bathroom and when I wiped it was faintly pink. I went to bed hoping that was all it was.

I'm not terribly upset. I am frustrated though. I let my mind go there, though I don't tell anyone so I don't jinx myself. I start thinking that I actually could be pregnant because my breast are sore (and have been for 2 weeks now). In fact I got kind of giddy when I woke in the middle of the night to tell Mr. H to stop snoring. You see, I'm a heavy sleeper and can sleep through anything. But when I was pregnant with both boys, the slightest thing woke me up. The one thing that was a constant bother was Mr. H's snoring.

It's not loud by any means but I heard it. So when I woke up in the middle of the night to his snoring I was hopeful. I took it as a sign.

Of course I didn't test though because denial is a good thing. In my mind I think that if I am pregnant and I wait as long as I can to test then at least that much time has passed and I don't have to face reality. Ignorance really is bliss.

And while I'm at it can I just complain (some more!) about everyone else getting pregnant? I started a food blog awhile back to get my mind of things. It really helped and because I love to bake and blog so it was a nice distraction. In food blog lands, things don't get too personal. Sure you get to know people through their style of cooking, and who they cook for but that's as far as it usually goes. It seems though that lately they all keep getting pregnant! I've learned of 4 different pregnancies over the past few weeks. I want to run and hide and bury myself in a different hobby that doesn't involve fertile women. Perhaps knitting with grannies??? Anyone want to join me?

Another frustration of mine is with my health insurance. I was covered under my mom's insurance til I was 25 years old. Then Mr. H and I got our own insurance together (he was previously not covered). For the last 2 years we've been paying for maternity coverage as well just in case. We started out paying $400/month for both of us. That included the maternity benefits. It has gone up twice over the last year and we're now paying $517/ month. About $130 of that is the maternity benefits that I have paid for the last 2 years (accumulated amount $3120!)

We met with a couple insurance reps that met with us at our house to discuss our options for a different provider. They were not aware of my unique circumstances. So after finding out about it, they told us there was not an insurance company that would cover us for any cheaper. We then discovered a rider in insurance agreement that says:

"This policy/certificate does not cover any loss incurred by Monica H as a result of incompetent cervix, complications therefrom, and treatment therefor. This rider specifically excludes loss incurred as a result of preterm labor. "

We could get group insurance (it only takes 2 people to make a group) that would cover everything pertaining to a future pregnancy but that would cost us about $1000/month. We don't have a grand to spend on insurance a month. We can barely afford the $500. So I'm not sure what we're going to do. It's been about 3 weeks since the insurance reps said they'd look into new plans and call our insurance to see exactly what they'll cover. They haven't called us back. And I don't really care.

I've been so sick to my stomach about it all so I haven't made any effort to contact the insurance company to see what they'll cover. Apparently we've been paying all this time for nothing. I wondered what they will cover and according to the policy, they'll pay for hospital stay and medications at delivery. My OB thinks we shouldn't drop the insurance because if that's the only thing they cover that's at least $15,000 we don't have to pay for.

It just pisses me off. How can they take our money and give us a policy for maternity benefits only to say they're not going to cover any maternity care? They're frauds. And how could I have been so stupid to not realize this until now?


my3sons said...

Hi Monica,
Insurance sucks! I don't blame you a bit for being pisst. I would be too. We also pay alot out of pocket for our ins. Roughly $180 per week. It bugs me, and the plan stinks. We have a high ded. I hope you can get things in order soon. As for AF, I'm sorry. I know that monthly game we play with ourselves thinking this is it. I keep praying it will be soon for you. Take care:) Katie

The Nanny said...

Oh no Monica, that sucks. I'm so sorry. xoxo

Kristi said...

That really sucks! Insurance is so frustrating. We need reform - I won't get political though.


Virginia said...

It stinks. Like Kristi, I could get totally political here, but I'll hold myself back and say instead, I'm sorry.

And I hope, hope, hope, you will need that insurance soon.

Sophie said...

Insurance companies suck! I'm convinced they're the devil :P.

Hey, I have been reading a lot that some women get pregnant and still bleed a little the first few weeks... so you might want to test, just to make sure!

~S said...

I'm so sorry, Monica. I know exactly how you feel today. I know that doesn't help. I wish there was something I could do. Big hugs!!

Hennifer said...

I am SO sorry. Insurance is so lame.

I wish I was there to give you a big hug!

Anonymous said...

Im sorry thats crazy insurace does suck damned if you do damned if you dont...My friend didnt have maternity insurace with hers and nly did what they had to do...no extra tests etc,but with you being high risk it would be scary..Do what you think is best...hugs

Rachel said...

I'm sorry!

Maybe it's time to shop around for different coverage. I found mine through esurance.com and I pay less than that for me and LG each month and maternity is covered. I pay an extra $120 per month for maternity. I think you guys are self-employed like me so you can deduct your insurance on your taxes.

Rachel said...

One more thing, call the insurance company to talk to a claims administrator to get them to explain the rider to you. They will know more specifics than the sales people. It may be that they will cover pregnancy, but just not treatment directly related to your conditions such as extra lab tests or ultrasounds.

Kristi said...

BTW - don't knit with grannies. They'll be knitting booties for someone's baby. : P

Go to the theater, people don't take babies then.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry my friend!! That is just AWFUL all of it!! Sending ((((HUGS)))) your way!!!

A Feast for the Eyes said...

I completely understand your frustration. Our health care system is so flawed, that I don't even know what the fix could be. Being self-employed, the only thing I had was catastrophic insurance, and that was barely affordable for me. I'm thankful that my husband has good insurance, but my son's will run out in a few months. He has a pre-existing condition. I hope Obama makes strides in getting that changed. We can only hope for that.
You have every right to rant. That's what blogs are for. You know how much I rant and rave on my own.
Love you,
(darn it, you aren't set up to take anonymous postings. Arrrrrrrgh)

mrsmuelly said...

You are allowed to complain. And as far as I'm concerned, you need not make any excuses about it.

I'm so sorry about AF. I know that hopeful feeling that can creep up and hate that it wasn't "real" symptoms this time. It really os YOUR TURN!!!!

And the insurance thing is stupid! Hate that.
So complain away. You've always been there for me and I will definitely do the same. Listening / reading is the least I can do.

Mrs. A said...

I know I am 4 or 5 days behind here but oh well!

Insurance companies are a pain in the behind! I hate them and I wish it was affordable to get by without them, but it is not! We pay almost 400 a month for me and me alone!!

As for AF, I'm sorry! But I do have a friend that had a period 4 weeks ago and found out yesterday that she is 8 weeks pregnant...so it is possible! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Good Luck!!

Anonymous said...

You are not stupid! Being in Human Resources I am regularly lamenting with staff members that get ripped off. It is a crime that they can get away with all the loopholes that they use to deceive people.

jaded said...


I am so sorry. But this is the way insurance companies really are and i just can't beleive that they can even get away with it?!

every few weeks an employee at my job comes to me with a question on their insurance and they are just puzzed as to how they got 'swindled'. i tell them that insurance companies are very good at it and not to feel 'stupid'.

it's happens to all of us at some point unfortuantely.