Another Thing To Worry About

I was going to write about the trans abdominal cerclage procedure and my experience, but I haven't been motivated to do it...yet. But I wanted to update you with what's going on. I went to the doctor last Tuesday and opted to do the First Screen test. It's done in the first trimester and it checks to see if you're at risk for carrying a baby with Down's Syndrome and Trisomy 18. I did it with both Sam and Jack and all was fine with them. So I elected to do it again this time.

There are a few different things they check for when they do this test. They do an ultrasound to check the thickness on the back of the neck (nuchal translucency), which can be an indicator of Down's. They also do a simple blood test (finger prick) and send it off, results are back in a week. They called me today to let me know that I am not at risk for carrying a baby with Down's Syndrome (Trisomy 21) but that I am at a slightly elevated risk for carrying a baby with Trisomy 18 (Edward's Syndrome).

I know that there is a 5% chance of the results being false positive, but there's also a 95% chance that I could be at risk of carrying a baby with Trisomy 18. The doctor told me not to worry "too much" because my risk of being a carrier is only slightly elevated, but how in the hell do I NOT worry? Of course I'm going to worry, it's in my nature. They base the results on the ultrasound, the blood results as well at my age at delivery. The nurse practitioner said that the normal range for someone my age (28) to have a baby with Trisomy-18 is 1 in 150, but that my risk was 1 in 137. That seems awfully high to me. I tried to call them back to verify those numbers but they had closed 3 minutes prior. This is not a diagnostic test, but purely a test to determine if you need further testing.

They said they'd refer me to a perinatologist and would call me back with an appointment date tomorrow. I admit, I googled and got sucked in, so I shut it all down and am trying not to worry about this. I don't feel like anything is wrong, but I know that doesn't mean much. I don't want to think about even losing another child. I do know that Trisomy 18 is a deadly disease though and that 50% of babies die within 2 months and 90% die within 12 months. I don't want this to be my story. That scares the shit out of me.

Again, I have to remind myself that just because I am at a slightly elevated risk of having a baby with T-18, doesn't mean that he or she has it. This it is not a death sentence. The baby could be totally fine and I'm worrying for nothing. I hope this is the case, but we'll have to wait and do further testing- another ultrasound, more blood tests and possibly a more invasive amnio. I'll know more tomorrow, hopefully, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm hoping that by letting go of this worry and putting it out there, that it will help me deal with all this. And if you guys want to pray and cross your fingers, I'd appreciate that too.

Thanks.