I was on a little blogging break over the last week because of some family drama. My aunt read what I wrote in the last two posts and was pissed at me for writing about her. I don't actually know if she was pissed because I wrote about her or because she didn't like what she read. She's still avoiding me- along with other family members. Either way, I'll write more about that tomorrow.
I've had a hard time deciding whether I wanted to go private or start a new fairly anonymous blog. The problem is I don't want my story --Sam and Jack's story-- to be private. I want people to be able to read about them, to know they're not alone. Though I feel hopeless at times, despite the name of this title, I feel that my story, in some way, can offer hope to someone else.
Obviously, this blog is found through Google, because that's how my aunt found me. But that's also how other people find me and come to read. They're seeking something. And at the risk of sounding proud, I think those people can benefit from my story in the archives. But if I stay public and write elsewhere, that means my family can find and read it. I don't want them reading about my fights with my in-laws, problems with Mr. H, or trips to the OB and the dildocam. If I wanted to know those things I would have shared with them. If I continue to write on this site publicly, my family will know my business from the past and the future.
If I were to start a new blog, I'd feel like I was abandoning this one: abandoning Sam and Jack. I'm afraid of being found, of being judged. Again.
Anyway, thank you for reading and for emailing and asking about me. Your thoughts mean a lot to me. If you have any suggestions on what I should do, please leave them in the comment section or email me. Also, Google Reader doesn't work with Private blogs. It doesn't show you when I post or not. So if you'd like me to email you letting you know when I've updated, then let me know. I don't want to send out any unnecessary emails if you don't want them.
Thanks for standing by and supporting me without judgement. That's what we live for isn't it?