"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Week In Review

Okay, so this post is about my week from last Thursday til now.

I worked in the kitchen all day Friday, Saturday and most of the day Sunday. We had my mother, mother-in-law and grandmother over for brunch for Mother's Day. There was a total of 10 of us, so needless to say I had my work cut out for me. But it was nice and not too stressful. I planned ahead and did most of the work (setting the the table, baking, chopping, etc) ahead of time.

It was also my brother's 14th birthday on Sunday, but we celebrated the day before. I also had to bake a cake for that too. Exhaustion is a word I would use to describe my weekend.



I think, in a way (in a big way) that I kept myself busy to avoid thinking about the obvious. It seemed to have worked, thus far, but who knows what the days ahead of us hold? My goal was to celebrate and honor the mothers in my life by feeding them and making them things and having a welcoming home. I did that. The day was about them. I acknowledged myself as a mother, but it wasn't my holiday.



Later in the evening, Mr. H and I went to visit the boys at the cemetery and to see Mr. H's grandmother, it was her birthday as well. She would have been 94 this year.
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Last Thursday I went with A. to take the boys to get their picture taken for Mother's day. Of course, the pictures turned out wonderfully. It's one of those places where they take the pictures and print them in the same day. So after they were printed and we were about to leave, A. decided it would be a good idea for me to take a picture with the boys. I liked the idea, but I wasn't thrilled. I wanted to take a picture with my two sons, not hers.



On another note, L.D is being potty trained. Let me rephrase that- I am potty training L.D. They're leaving on vacation at the end of June and she's wanted it done by then, but she's made absolutely no effort to do so. He's not going to do it himself, so that leaves me. But it's been difficult because I also have the little one to take care of while she "works". On Monday, I sat on the edge of the tub for 48 minutes waiting for him to pee. And he did it! And he was so proud of himself, and I of him. His mom said "yay" and went back to work.

He ended up telling me he needed to go again and I took him. A big step for a 2 and a half year old, if you ask me. He hasn't been consistent over the last few days, but that's to be expected, he's still learning to listen to his body. The problem is, A gives him no credit. On Monday after 15 minutes she was ready to give up and take him off the pot. Today she was bitching because he only said he needed to go once and peed the rest of the time in his diaper.

Who the fuck cares lady! It's day 3 and he's just learning. No thanks to her!

Also they went to the library to check out potty books. The only one they found was titled "Sam's Potty".

Sometimes I feel like life keeps shitting on me.

9 comments:

my3sons said...

Monica,
First, Happy Mothers Day to you! You are a mother! You are a saint to have the family over for such a hard day. Your table is beautiful by the way:) I'm sure they appreciated it, but I know that it was not an easy thing for you to do. Your a mom to your precious boys.
I can't believe that A can't potty train her own child! It seems like she wants you to do all of the shit work of raising her children. I feel so sorry for those little boys. Luckily they have you around! Ok, I'm rambling now:) Thinking of you!!

Virginia said...

I so wish you owned a coffeeshop/cafe and lived near me - I would be there every day! That table you set is beautiful - you really have a talent for it, and I envy you because I totally don't. (Ok, I can bake, my stuff tastes good, but I can't decorate it like you can.)

And as for A, well, I feel bad for her boys, and for you. It's so hard when you see someone who has no idea what they have right there in front of them, while you know all too well what a precious gift it is.

Hennifer said...

That is so great about the little boy... the successes and his pride I mean.
It is amazing to me how parents can be so blind to the fact that their participation, approval and love is THE most important things. She could create worse, long lasting effects by her attitude. I know. I've been more frustrated than I need to be with my daughter (She started early at about 15 mos) She does so much better the weeks when I just breathe and move forward

Rachel said...

The table is very Martha Stewartish- I don't think I've ever put fresh flowers on my table unless I had just received them, so pretty.

A is frustrating. Sounds like she only wants the good parts of being a parent and nothing to do with the hard or boring parts.

Sophie said...

That's a beautiful spread-I know the food was tasty too :).

I admire you for doing the potty training -- it is tough on both the teacher and the kiddo. I think one of the most annoying things is coming across an emotionally unavailable/ignorant parent. Though I haven't experienced a moment exactly like this, when I see something somewhat similar going on I do get super annoyed too!

Kristi said...

Beautiful table!

How hard that must have been to take a picture with the boys.

Amanda said...

Monica you are amazing. Some people really dont think when they ask you to do certain things. Such as taking that picture. ((HUGS)) and you are so strong and amazing and you will get your rainbow/s. I KNOW IT!!!!

mrsmuelly said...

A little belated, but Happy Day to you. It looks like it was a beautiful celebration. I celebrate you as a Mommy...whether you like it or not!

And the pic is beautiful.

jaded said...

here, here! i know all about life shitting on us!!!

i think the photo is lovely and i get it, what a shot in the heart. a photo with 2 boys that are NOT Sam and Jack.

i think it is so beautiful what you wrote - you acknowledged that you are a mom but it was not your holiday. It was time to care for the other mothers in your life.
i felt the same way - except i did not have my mom and grandma around, but i will see them soon!

hang tight (that's what i tell myself) our day will come.

i can't wait.