"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Monday, October 22, 2007

My favorite kind of Prego

Ah, yes pregnant smokers (my favorite topic). Mr. H and I went to see Kristi in the hospital a few days ago after she gave birth to Ethan. As we walked out there was a woman (huge woman) walking out in the parking lot wearing a hospital gown. I felt badly because I realized we had parked in the "expectant mothers" parking and this woman was walking further than we parked. Then as we got closer to our car I smelled cigarette smoke, but I didn't smell smoke on her as she walked past us. I jokingly said to Mr. H that she was on her cigarette break, only I did not see one in her hand. She was holding her keys so I thought she was taking a trip to her car and getting fresh air. As we pulled out of our parking space, she started puffing away. UUUGGGHHH! Are you sure it's not okay to judge? No, I don't know her story but she could be killing her child. Bitch!

By the way, why do people feel okay with telling me they are pregnant. I am trying to be excited for them, but it sometimes takes time. I have had 4 people tell me they are pregnant within the last 2 1/2 weeks. That's a lot! I am getting better than I used to be. I am not so emotional about it, but when I want it so badly it makes it even tougher.

Thanks Kristi for reminding me of women like this.

4 comments:

Christyna said...

I too can not stand pregnant smokers. I once saw a video a few years ago of u/s of a fetus while the mother was smoking. The fetus has a seizure with every drag the woman took off the cigarette. Maybe we should find it on you tube and pass it around.

and 10 to 1 these are the kind of women who will have a complicated free pregnancy. Meanwhile, I hear time and time again of women not having coffee, tea, cugarettes...and so on only to have complications.

It is unfair. I too tend to judge and get angry, and most of this was before my m/c so imagine me now??

Monica H said...

I don't know if I would want to see the video of fetus in utero having a seizure. It would just make me cuss out or beat up a smoking prego in public, which might put me in jail. But then, I would have something new to bog about :)

I never said I wasn't judgemental before my losses. I've just "narrowed down the field" to irresponsible, stupid people (which doesn't really narrow the field). So if you happen to fall into this category- watch out!

The Walsh's said...

Pregnant smokers. Uggh. Not only that, but Moms who smoke in the car with their kids in the backseat. WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP. Once at a stop light, I motioned for the Mom doing just this to roll her window down. When she did, I asked her how long she wanted her son to live? The light turned green before she had a chance to respond, but I'm sure she got the message.

One of Lincoln's Neonatologist said that when he works in Pediatrics, when kids come in with breathing problems, he does a blood test to check Nicotine levels. If the same kid comes back a second time with breathing problems, and ANY level of Nicotine (after warning the parents), he reports the parents to Child Protective Services. I found that bold and absolutely incredible.

I'm sorry, also, for what seems to be the insensitivity of other newly pregnant Moms. I can't imagine how it feels to hear the elation in their voice, but know that they don't mean to cause you sadness. I've met MANY Moms over the past year that have lost babies and I'm just now starting to understand that losing a child early doesn't mean less pain. You have to be strong where your friends are not. And you obviously are!

Glad we found each others blogs!

Monica H said...

It's not that these newly pregnant women are being insensitive because they've had losses in the past as well. They DESERVE to be elated and they're not flaunting their pregnancies, but there have been so many this month. On top of that, there have been 4 other people I know have babies this month. I just get overwhelmed at times and start stressing out. It's just so hard to be 100% ecstatic for them when I want what they have. Bottom line, I'm jealous of them. I want to be part of the "in crowd".

Also, you are one courageous woman to call out that woman smoking in the car with the windows rolled up. How dumb can people be?

I'm glad we found each other too. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog :) Lincoln is beautiful.