"IT'S NOT THE LENGTH OF THE GESTATION, IT'S THE EXTENT OF THE ATTACHMENT."


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I wish...

It is now 4am and I haven't gone to bed. I went into labor on this day at this exact time last year. I remember it exactly because I looked at the clock as I woke up and went into the bathroom, then my water broke. Before that I remember being totally carefree and not having a single worry when it came to my pregnancy. Now everyday is consumed by grief and thoughts of my two boys. I got pregnant again shortly after Sam was born and I had a cerclage placed in order to keep my cervix closed. Obviously it didn't work. I miscarried again on February 21st of this year. Jack was born at 16w4d. I miss them dearly. I wish they were here. I wish I could change things. I wish...

Good night.

1 comment:

Monica said...

I'm so sorry Monica. ((Hugs)) and real hugs later today. I couldn't sleep either when I knew exactly what had happened a year before. It almost seems wrong to be sleeping during such an important time. I have a lot of faith that you and Sam will have a family soon. I'm not sure how "soon" soon is, but I know in the grand scheme of life it won't be that long. I wish I could just give you a written guarantee, but I can't. Just don't lose your faith. I'm looking forward to today. Happy Birthday Sam, we love you.