Tomorrow

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of my son, Sam's, birthday. He will be one year old! I wish he were here to celebrate with us and get cake all over his face and up his nose and all over the kitchen floor. He will instead be celebrating in Heaven with his younger brother and friends. I often wonder what he would look like, his father or me? Would he have curly hair? Would he be a happy baby? Would he know how much we love him? DOES he know how much we love him? I like to think he does. Sam was born at 17w1d due to my incompetent cervix. He was born absolutely perfect from head to toe. He looked just like his Daddy. That was one year ago and I miss him like crazy! He is buried along side his little brother, Jack. Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery along with friends and family and have a balloon release for him. We will write messages on the balloons and send them up to the clouds for him to read and play with. I may even glue a mini cupcake to the balloon, he should be able to enjoy them too. His Daddy will play "Happy Birthday" on the trumpet and I'm sure we will all start crying. I am making birthday cupcakes for him, as I would if he were here. I even made little picks that say 'Happy 1st Birthday' to adorn the cupcakes. I got him a plush puppy holding a star that has a #1 on it. We will leave that for him at the cemetery, so he can share with his friends. I hope everything is perfect for him and his day. I would do anything for him.

With all my love,
Momma