Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Rosey Cheeks

For the last couple weeks, my skin has been terrible! I have the occasional breakout, but it has been yucky everyday for 2 weeks now. So I made a doctor appt. with a dermatologist to see what was going on. The breakout seemed to spread from my face to neck to my chest. I didn't change any products, I didn't use anything differently, I didn't start a new bottle of anything (thinking the formula changed). I didn't do anything different, so I didn't understand why my skin was acting up. It was kind of embarrassing and I was a little self-conscience so I decided to take action.

Mr. H printed out a list of recommended docs in my insurance network and I just left it on the desk for about a week. Then after that, I said I was going to make an appt, so I stuck it in my purse in which it remained for another couple days. When I searched the list, I noticed there was a doctor named Robert Jackson!!! It was a sign, so I made an appt right away. I went to see him this morning and he says I have r.osacea- bleh! So he wrote me a scrip for a $135 tube of cream- that's crazy talk. Insurance covered a portion of it, but it still came out to over $100. Mr. H asked why they called it r.osacea and not "Rosey cheeks" I thought that was funny. Rosey cheeks sounds so much more pleasant doesn't it?

Anyway, when we were leaving the pharmacy parking lot after picking up my meds, my car decided it was going to act a fool and it started making this nasty grinding noise which Mr. H thinks is the torque converter. Don't know what that is? Me neither, but it costs about $400 plus labor! So we headed home instead of to my mom's house for dinner and switched cars. We have 3 cars, but I can only drive one since I don't drive a stick. So that meant that Mr. H was going to have to drive me around everywhere while my car was getting fixed or I was going to have to borrow a car. So I am now pimpin' out my MIL's Caddy (and I secretly love it!) but I do miss my car already.

* * * * *
Easter wasn't so bad after all, but it still wasn't as great as we all wished it could be. My Grandma came in to town to visit for the weekend. Her mastectomy and reconstruction surgery are scheduled for April 2nd. She needed to get away so she and my Grandpa took a road trip. It's been nice to have her here even though I have been so busy and haven't been able to spend as much time with her as I would like. She leaves for home on Wednesday, then I will fly up to see her next Monday. I'm hoping that this will be her last surgery and she will be cancer free. I can't take the stress of it, and I can only imagine how she feels everyday.

It's been interesting though because the loss she feels towards her breast and the disease she has makes us grieve in very similar ways. We've been able to connect on a different level than others because the loss of my boys and the loss of part of her body are relatively similar- emotionally. People have said stupid shit to her as they did me, like "You'll have another one" or "At least you had it for as long as you did" or "It was meant to be". All bullshit, I tell ya. She fears death and a loss of hope as have I. She feels no one can relate as much as they try, as did I. All the commonalities have really caught me off guard, because I never thought that a loss of a baby would at all relate to a woman with breast cancer. But it just goes to show that no matter what your hardship, grief is still the common factor.


The Nanny said...

Haha! I'd like to see you driving a big ole' Caddy!

And though I'm sad for the circumstances under which you and your grandmother are able to relate...I am glad that there's someone there who (at least partly) understands.

Rachel said...

I hope your rosey cheeks get better!

I think it is interesting how you and your grandma have bonded over the grief. I wouldn't have expected that either.

meg said...

I have the rosy cheeks too. I find that wind and the cold makes it worse.

I would love to drive a Caddy. THAT sounds like a lot of fun.

Antigone said...

I'd like a surprise expense which involved a trip to Paris one day. Instead it always seems to be car and medical bills.

Monica H said...

Meg- I know how you like to drive fast and you would love this car. It's a little older, but it's a bad mamma jamma! Before I knew it, I was going 90- almost effortlessly!

Antigone- No shit!

KMW said...

It's funny how grief is similar across the board. When we lost the twins, the only people who understood were those who had had loss themselves. It didn't matter how. Glad you can be there for your grandmother.