Friday, May 30, 2008

Hairy Monica

Google analytics refers those who search for "hairy monica" to this blog. I got a haircut yesterday and I shaved my legs this morning. I'm not hairy anymore but if you get directed to this sight- welcome.

I got a haircut yesterday. The last time I had one was over 7 months ago. I've needed one for some time now but have been putting it off because I didn't want to answer to my hair stylist. The last few times I went to her, I was either pregnant or had just lost a baby. So when I see her she always asks if I'm pregnant, then I have to tell her no. I really like her and have followed her from salon to salon for the last 4 years. Her prices aren't too unreasonable, and I really don't want to find someone else. I really like the way she cuts, highlights and styles my hair. She's consistent and that's hard to find. I like that she remembers and acknowledges my losses, but the reminders suck.

I haven't had my hair highlighted since before I was pregnant with Sam. I wanted to wait until after 20w but I never made it that far. After that, I just didn't care what my hair looked like. And in a way, I was protecting myself from guilt. If my baby had died after I colored my hair, then I would have blamed myself. Then I got pregnant again and had to wait. Then he died too and I really didn't care what my hair looked like. Mr. H says he misses my blond highlights, but I'm "not that person anymore". I like my highlights too, but he's right. I'll never be that person again. That person who spent way too much money on high and low lights. The person who had her roots touched up every 2-3 months. The person who would get a mani-pedi every couple weeks. The person who wore make-up everyday. I just don't care anymore. There are more important things in life than being pretty.

Like most hair dressers, she gossips about other customers, the stylist next to her, the neighbors dog, her 17 year old pregnant daughter...yeah, you read that right. Every time I get my hair done, she gloats about her daughter (an only child) and how smart she is, how independent she is, her new job, etc. She's a proud mother. Well yesterday she told me she was going to be a grandmother. A smile appeared on my face almost immediately. Then I realized her daughter is still in high school and is still a child. So I wiped the "I'm happy for you" look off my face and asked her what she thought about the news. She's not so thrilled.

In the last year when I have gone to her, her mother has died, her sister died from colon cancer, she was in a car wreck, and over mother's day weekend, a family friend committed suicide, a nephew passed away from cancer, her husband accused her of being unfaithful and her daughter (J) got pregnant (approx. 12 weeks). Full plate? I would say so.

J was taking birth control and decided to stop taking them because she didn't like them. That's why I quit taking them but I wanted to get pregnant, she just didn't think that would happen to her. Do kids still think that these days? That's scary...and sad. But then again I didn't think that my babies would die and they did. Anyway, her boyfriend denies that this baby is his. He texted her the phone number to the abortion clinic. And then he broke up with her. Way to take responsibility for your actions. Did I mention he has another child with some other girl? Nice.

By the end of our "session" she was crying, because she feels she's going to end up raising this child. She's upset because her daughter's life is forever changed- burdened. She's upset because she knows how badly I want a baby and can't have [a live] one and her daughter got pregnant by being careless. Her situation is not ideal, but it's not the end of the world.

If her baby dies it will be.


Antigone said...

I believe in reproductive choice; but I still find it eerie that what I find so elusive comes so easily to those who don't want it.

niobe said...

I realize that life is unfair. But why, oh, why does the universe seem to have to keep rubbing that point in?

mrsmuelly said...

Okay, Harry Monica is funny...your hairdresser's sequence of events in the past year is not. I feel for her, really...but reading all this, all I could think is how could you sit there and let her do your hair when her teenage daughter is going to have a baby. A baby she didn't want, and probably doesn't deserve. It's not the hairdresser's fault, but that's what I was thinking. Again, you are a STRONG woman!