12 Months. 12 Facts.

It's the last day of 2007. I have mixed emotions about this year. It was a year of heartache, yet it was still the year I gave birth to my beautiful son and became a mother to a second child. I thank God for my experiences, because I know I will gain something from them all, but I wish there wasn't such a high price to pay to learn a life lesson.

January- Got a cerclage in hopes that everything would work out and I would have a live baby.

February - Jack died and we made funeral arrangement on his dad's birthday. He was buried the next morning.

March- I met with the peri and he gave us the go ahead to try again.

April- We took a much needed spiritual trip to Santa Fe over Easter. Made lifelong friends at a pregnancy loss group.

May- Raised $1015 and walked for my boys in The March of Dimes and celebrated Mother's Day crying over their headstones at the cemetery.

June- Enjoyed a relaxing weekend on the coast and had another birthday.

July- Picked wild strawberries from a field with Sam and Aaron.

August- Celebrated Sam's 1st birthday with a balloon release. Got a bunny named August and started a blog.

September- Made Autumn treats for her 3rd birthday, and tamales with my family after my mom had surgery.

October- Started a new support group and made new friends. Met Andy and Ethan for the first time :)

November- Found a new (good) doctor I like- not a small feat.

December- Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. Realized that even though I wasn't able to physically spend Christmas with my boys that they spent Christmas in Heaven with the birthday boy. And that must have been the best!

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Now for a few little facts about me that you should know as we enter 2008. Thanks for the idea Monica and Holly!

1. I don't like warm cream cheese or dishes with corn in them- yuck!

2. Although I think corn is fascinating. You can do so freakin' much with it. For example: corn on the cob, corn niblets, creamed corn, corn meal, polenta, corn starch, corn oil, plastics, ethanol, the list goes on. I'm kinda like the bubba gump of corn.

3. I DO NOT drink water from the bathroom faucet- no exceptions!

4. I'm addicted to lip balm and deep conditioners. Not because I'm dry or chapped, but because I like to be extra hydrated.

5. Mr. H is the only man I have ever been with and we've been together for almost 9 years.

6. I am a jealous person. I do not want to be, but I am.

7. I am a judgemental person. Again, I do not want to be, but I am.

8. I have a fear of cold wet places. Well, not really a fear so much as it just completely grosses me out. I DO NOT like to touch the shower wall, or shower curtain. I don't like to pick up shampoo bottles that are cold and wet because the water gets trapped in the lid and then it spills down my arm- gross. I also don't like to put my feet flat on the shower floor- it makes me feel dirty. I don't like to shower after someone else, because I feel like their germs are "fresh" and they're going to get on me. Probably why Mr. H and I have separate bathrooms. I think I am a little crazy!

9. My toe nails are always painted a shade of pink or red, they're never bare because I don't like my feet.

10. I am ashamed and disappointed in myself for contemplating divorce. (Honey, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me.)

11. I've never been drunk. (I'm thinking maybe I should give it a try!)

12. I really believe that David Ball wrote the song "Thinkin' Problem" for me. Ha! That makes me laugh.

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Okay, that's it! If you have any fun facts about yourself, leave them in the comment section. I'd love to read them. And since it's the last day of the year, if you're a lurker, stop reading long enough to say hi, then you can go back on your merry way. And while you're at it, stop by to visit Virginia and wish her well. 4 years ago today, her son, Ben, left this Earth far too early.

And before I forget, here is a photo of August and Autumn I took to send out with the Christmas cards. I did not send this one, but I thought it was funny. Autumn is a little jealous of August and she didn't want to sit next to him.

Just Eat It

I don't like black eyed peas. I never really have, but I'm going to eat them this year. Maybe that's what has been my problem- I never ate them in the past. Every year on New Years Day, my MIL makes this nasty cold black eyed peas salad. (Can you tell I don't like them?) Everyone eats them but me. I pass. Last week I made our neighbors some cream cheese pumpkin bread. (Don't ask for the recipe, cause I made it up and I don't even know if it tasted good.) She returned the favor by bringing us a rice dish. I thought "Great, now I don't have to cook dinner." Then I took a closer look and saw it was black eyed peas and rice. Um, no thanks. I read the card she sent along with the dish and it said to eat on New Years Day, but I tasted it first. It was good! I am surprised. That doesn't mean I'm going to start eating them on a regular basis, but maybe this year I'll give them a try. I don't think my life can get any worse, so black eyed peas and rice is what I will be eatin'. We'll see if they bring me good luck.

Charlseton Hopping John by Martha S. (my neighbor)

• 1 c. rice, cooked


• 1 can field peas or black eyed peas


• 2 slices bacon (crumbled)


• 1/4 c. onions


• Dash of soy sauce


• 1/4 tsp. thyme


• 1/4 tsp. poultry seasoning


• Salt and pepper to taste

Cook rice. While rice is cooking, fry the bacon. Pour off some of the grease. Add onions, saute with bacon. You may use some pea juice from the peas to cook onions. Add soy sauce, thyme poultry seasoning, salt, and pepper. Add peas, then fold in rice. Serve on New Year's Day for good luck!

It's Addicting!

Okay, I'm done. I promise!

GINGERBREAD MAGIC

The reason I'm up til 3 AM. Betcha can't make just one snowflake!
I CAN'T STOP. I MUST BE COMMITED!

ICY TWIG FLAKE

PINE FOREST FLAKE

LACEY FLAKE

FOR THE BOYS

NOTCHED FLAKE

MOSAICS

GIFTS UNDER THE TREE

DIZZY STAR

STARS AND STRIPES

Other Names

1. Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack jump over the candlestick.

2. Jumping Jack Flash

3. Jack Sprat

4. Jack and the Beanstalk

5. Jack in the box

6. Black Jack

7. Jack Black

8. Jack sh*t (sorry baby boy)

9. Jack ass

10. Jack Daniels

11. Jack the ripper

12. Jumping Jacks

13. Jacks (the game)

14. Jack-off (ooh, sorry again)

15. Jack Frost

16. Jackson 5

17. Jack O' Lantern

18. Monterrey Jack (cheese)

19. Apple Jacks

20. Jackson Spruce

21. Phone jack

22. Flapjacks

23. Lumber Jack

24. Floor Jack

25. Jack rabbit

26. Jackelope

27. Jack & Jill

28. Cracker Jack

29. Jacked up

30. Panama Jack

31. Jack hammer

32. One Eyed Jack

33. Jack of all trades

34. hi-jack

35. Jack Russell

36. Action Jackson (as in, give me some :-))

Painted Ceramic Gifts

In my Blogger profile I say that I do "artsy crafty" things, but I've never talked about or shown any of the things I make. This post is dedicated to the gifts I painted for my family at the local ceramic shop (except for the rooster I painted in Santa Fe on our Easter vacation).

**(Last name removed to protect privacy)**

My Thoughts On Christmas

Click to enlarge.

Merry Christmas!

Naive

I just realized that freezing embryos or eggs and sperm is not a back-up plan. It's a stalling technique so that when I'm old and baron Mr. H can decide he wants kids. Fuck that.

We slept apart last night for the first time in our marriage. I woke up sad without him.

I don't have anything else to say.

Would YOU Check Out This Book?

I got this idea from the Nanny, Visit here to create your own!

Salt Dough Recipe

Click here to learn how to make!

Cancer Sucks

My grandma has cancer.

She was officially diagnosed yesterday (Friday 14th) after her biopsy on Wednesday. She is really upset as expected and so am I. I really thought and believed that she would be okay and she still may be "okay" but I hate that she has to go through this. I HATE IT.

She has another appointment at the first of the year, then they will schedule a surgery date to remove the cancerous mound. She will then undergo chemotherapy 5 days a week for 6 weeks. The good news is that the cancer is located in her milk duct and not in her breast tissue. The doctor described it as "ink inside of a ballpoint pen". Since it is fully encapsulated, it will not spread throughout the remainder of her breast. He also said that there is only a 10% chance of the cancer returning once it is removed. So for that I am hopeful that *this* will not take her down.

She is a strong woman and I know that she will get through this. I'm praying that she will become stronger than any cancer out there and I ask that you all do the same.

Our Spirit Tree

I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind and encouraging words regarding my recent posts about trying again and feeling the Christmas blues. I appreciate all the comments and look forward to reading them. It's kind of odd that I get more support here on the computer than I do in real life. So, thank you (and I'm sorry for making any of you cry- that was not my intention at all.)

I decided to put up a Christmas tree after all and I wanted to share it with y'all since you are the ones that encouraged me to do it. It is beautiful and I'm glad I did it. It's a small 3 footer, but it's loaded with ornaments that I adore. I certainly have favorites and I've taken pictures of a few of them to show you. You can click on the pictures to enlarge them. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

The boys tree flanked by nutcrackers and the mercury glass tree topper.

"Thank Heaven for little boys"

These are sterling silver ornaments that have their name and birth date engraved on them.

These are hand painted porcelain discs painted by a friend of mine especially for my little angels. On the back is all their birth information. The one on the left is for Sam and the right one is for Jack.

The remembrance ornaments I got for each of the boys.

The letter "S" with cookie monster and my little "Jack" hammer.

Santa's outfit on a beaded hangar (this could have actually fit them) and Santa playing with race cars.

Linus with Snoopy and a little bunny that reminds me of August. The pressed tin angel we got on our vacation in Santa Fe.

An angel of happiness with blue and green crayons (I have a red and yellow one, too). A star also from Santa Fe, a Pooh snow globe that lights up (I also have a Tigger) and a glittery star burst that my in-laws gave us "in light of Baby Sam".

A jingle bell reindeer and an angel I got for Sam last year rest at the base of the tree on top of my favorite penguin blanket.

And lastly, this is our mantle for our family of 5 (Dad, Mom, Autumn, Sam and Jack). I guess now, I have to get one for August. Maybe I'll just get a little one and hang it on his cage with a carrot in it :)

ETA: And one more!For my "Jack" -in -the-box